Discussion

Band 4+: Some people think that advertisements are good for the society whereas others oppose this view. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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Some individuals believe that commercials are beneficial for population while others disagree this view.

On the one hand, Advertisements have lots of benefits such as if you don’t have time for shopping you can rely on advertisement and find information about products and you can learn about new products. For example if you have lots of work or study tasks and you don’t know about products then you may watch advertisement, as a results you can take information about that product even new one.

Therefore,commercials play significant role in society to get information about goods.

On the other hand, while watching advertisements artificial desire arises in a person and also children are easily influenced by commercials and then pester their parents to buy certain products such as toys or snacks. As a result, this may lead to unnecessary spending and parents may take pressure.

In conclusion, advertisements bring both negative and positive effects to society. While they provide useful information about products and services, they may also influence people to buy things they do not need. Therefore, people should be careful when making purchasing decisions.

Word Count: 185

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

about: 6

products: 5

information: 4

while: 3

advertisements: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of advertising. A position is present in the conclusion, though it could be more clearly integrated throughout the body paragraphs to show a more consistent stance. The main ideas are relevant, but the development is somewhat limited. For instance, the first body paragraph relies heavily on a single repetitive example regarding time management, and the second body paragraph could be expanded with more depth regarding the societal impact of consumerism. To improve, try to extend your ideas by explaining the 'why' and 'how' more thoroughly, and ensure that your personal opinion is clearly stated in the introduction to provide a roadmap for the reader. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the first body paragraph repeats the idea of 'getting information' multiple times without expanding on the depth of the argument. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition', 'Conversely') and ensure that each sentence adds new value to the paragraph rather than restating the previous one.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is functional but quite basic and repetitive (e.g., using 'products' and 'advertisements' frequently). There is a lack of sophisticated lexical items that would be expected in higher-band essays. To improve, try to use synonyms and more precise terminology. For example, instead of 'lots of benefits', you could use 'numerous advantages'; instead of 'take pressure', you could use 'experience financial strain' or 'feel pressured'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical issues that affect the flow of the writing. These include errors in subject-verb agreement, improper use of articles, and run-on sentences (sentences that are too long and lack proper punctuation). For example, the sentence starting with 'On the one hand...' is a long run-on sentence that should be broken down into smaller, clearer segments. Focus on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring that punctuation (like commas and periods) is used correctly to separate distinct ideas.

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Band 4+: Some people think that advertisements are good for the society whereas others oppose this view. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Some people think that advertisements are good for the society whereas others oppose this view. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people think that advertisements are good for the society whereas others oppose this view. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people think that advertisements are good for the society whereas others oppose this view. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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in many countries people moving from rural areas to urban areas.why do you think that is?What problems can cause

In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

Some say that reading newspapers and watching TV news is a waste of time, because it has no direct connection with people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many parts of the world, families were larger in the past because people had more children. Do you think there were more advantages or disadvantages to being a part of a large family in the past?

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are the possible solutions?

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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