Opinion

Band 4+: Some people think that governments should spend money on sport facilities for training top athletes, while others argue that they should spend money on sport facilities for everybody.

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There is an ongoing debate whether governments should allocate more funds to sport facilities for the best athletes, whereas others believe that this investment should be spent on sport facilities for the general public.This essay will examine both perspectives and I will explain why I support the former view.

More money should be spent on sport equipments for general public.One explanation lies in the fact that it may encourage citizens take care of their health and do sports as it might improve general health.For example, when more individuals do sports, they have tendency to promote good health.In conclusion, if funds allocated to sport facilities for ordinary people, it might have improve public’s overall well-being.

One of the primary reasons of spending more money on facilities for top atheletes is that might help to enhance their skills and foster their talent.This is mainly because professional athletes need more efficient training facilities compared to ordinary individuals since they are representives and faces our country in the international competitions.For instance, if more funds spent on high-level athletes, they would win more competitions and raising the county’s profile.To sum up , if governments spent more money on sport facilities for top athletes, it might have improve their abilities.

From my point of view, governments should invest more money on sport facilities for proffesional athletes as they represent our country in the global competitions.In addition, sport is their proffesional occupation compared to ordinary people.

To conclude, although provided advantages by investing on sport facilities for ordinary people, investments on top athletes has more significance such as proud of our country.

Word Count: 265

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sport: 8

facilities: 8

athletes: 6

their: 5

should: 4

spent: 4

money: 4

might: 4

ordinary: 4

governments: 3

funds: 3

general: 3

improve: 3

country: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both views and presents a clear position, but the development of ideas is limited and lacks clarity. The arguments are not fully extended or supported with specific examples. There are also issues with coherence and cohesion, as the paragraphs are not well-organized and the transitions are abrupt. To improve, focus on developing each point with more detail and logical reasoning, and ensure that the essay flows smoothly from one idea to the next. Additionally, pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity and precision.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the flow is disrupted by abrupt transitions and a lack of cohesive devices. The ideas are presented in a somewhat disjointed manner, and the connection between paragraphs is not smooth. To improve, use linking words and phrases to guide the reader, and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed logically. Also, the conclusion could be more effective by summarizing both views and clearly stating your opinion.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition and imprecise word choices (e.g., 'sport equipments' should be 'sports equipment', 'representives' should be 'representatives', 'proffesional' should be 'professional'). There is an attempt to use more sophisticated terms like 'allocate' and 'overall well-being', but these are not always used accurately. To improve, expand your vocabulary, use synonyms to avoid repetition, and ensure correct word forms and collocations. Also, avoid informal phrases like 'To sum up' in an academic essay. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('it might have improve' should be 'it might improve'), incorrect verb forms ('if funds allocated' should be 'if funds are allocated'), and missing articles ('the county's profile' should be 'the country's profile'). There are also punctuation issues, such as missing commas and incorrect use of spaces before punctuation. To improve, review basic grammar rules, practice writing complex sentences, and proofread your work to correct errors. Using a variety of sentence structures will also enhance your score.

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Band 4+: Some people think that governments should spend money on sport facilities for training top athletes, while others argue that they should spend money on sport facilities for everybody.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Some people think that governments should spend money on sport facilities for training top athletes, while others argue that they should spend money on sport facilities for everybody.

Some people think that governments should spend money on sport facilities for training top athletes, while others argue that they should spend money on sport facilities for everybody.

Some people think that governments should spend money on sport facilities for training top athletes, while others argue that they should spend money on sport facilities for everybody.

Some people think that governments should spend money on sport facilities for training top athletes, while others argue that they should spend money on sport facilities for everybody.

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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