Opinion

Band 6+: Task 2: When designing a building, the most important factor is the intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In modern society, some individuals believe that the most important factor to design a building for use rather than its outside appearance. I partly agree with this statement, although intended use of a building should be the primary consideration, its outward appearance is also important.

Admittedly, intended use of a building is essential, particularly in these cases: hospitals, schools, libraries ,experiment labs because the main purpose of these buildings is used for studying, teaching, saving and researching, not for commercial trades. Instead of investing a deal of money for decorating, making them more attractive, investing in facilities should be the primary consideration for these cases. Moreover, a useful design for these buildings is to ensure people’s protection, convenience and access easily. For example, buildings for hospitals need exit doors and wide hallways for emergency situations. Therefore, if investing excessive on design, these essential facilities can be limited and unqualified.

On the other hand, outward appearance is also important. In terms of business, particularly shops or offices, they may need a professional appearance to create an impression on clients or business partners. In addition, visually attractive buildings may become landmarks of the city where attract a lot of tourists and may contribute to the cultural identity of the city. For example, Landmark 81 in VietNam is one of the most commercial buildings that draw thousands of visitors because its design is full of glasses outside.

In conclusion, some people believe when designing a building ,the intended use of buildings is the most important rather than the outside look. In my opinion, it totally depends on what purposes, if they are purposes for education and health, the intended use of buildings should be the primary consideration. By contrast, if they are for business, the outside look is also important.

Word Count: 297

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

buildings: 7

these: 5

important: 4

design: 4

building: 4

appearance: 4

intended: 4

outside: 3

should: 3

primary: 3

consideration: 3

investing: 3

business: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position (partly agree). The main parts of the prompt are covered, with relevant ideas for both function and appearance. However, the development of ideas could be more precise and detailed. For example, the argument about hospitals and schools is supported, but the discussion of appearance could be strengthened with more specific examples or reasoning. Additionally, there are some minor lapses in clarity and grammar (e.g., 'investing a deal of money' should be 'a great deal of money', and 'full of glasses' could be 'made of glass'). To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and expand on how the intended use and appearance interact, perhaps by discussing buildings where both are equally important. Overall, the response is well-structured and relevant, but lacks the depth and precision expected of a higher band score.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The argument is presented logically, and the use of linking words such as 'Admittedly' and 'On the other hand' helps to guide the reader. However, there are some lapses in coherence, particularly in the introduction where the sentence is a bit awkward and the thesis is not clearly stated. The conclusion also repeats the introduction rather than summarizing the main points. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the conclusion effectively synthesizes the discussion.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriate to the topic, such as 'intended use', 'outward appearance', 'primary consideration', and 'cultural identity'. There are some good examples of less common vocabulary, like 'landmarks' and 'commercial trades'. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'investing a deal of money' (should be 'a great deal of money') and 'draw thousands of visitors because its design is full of glasses outside' (which is unclear). To improve, focus on using precise and natural collocations, and avoid literal translations from your first language. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and conditional forms. However, there are several errors that affect clarity, such as 'the most important factor to design a building for use' (should be 'the most important factor in designing a building is its intended use'), and 'if investing excessive on design' (should be 'if excessive investment is made in design'). Punctuation issues, such as missing commas and incorrect spacing, also appear. To improve, review subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure, and proofread carefully to eliminate these errors.

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