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Band 5+: The government should pay the course fees for everyone who want to study at university. Agree or disagree?

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It is often said that the Government should pay all kinds of fees for student. Many people believe that the state should spend money for the course fees for all people who wants to study at the university. This essay strongly agrees with this view, as an increase in carrier growth and reduce pressure.

There are several reasons why government should pay for the university course fees. One key reason is that an increase carrier growth. This is because when government pay all kinds of tuition fees or course fees, every student will go to university because its free for everyone. After finished their education, they can easily find a better job for their life. For example, Germany government gives free education for everybody. Therefore, up to 90% people are doing better job and built their carrier. Moreover, the people give taxes to the government, the government spend these taxes spend on education and others parts.

Another major reason why I strongly agree with this statement is that reduce the burden on student. In other words, a lot of students are left university because of the course fees and also some student may face mental pressure for their fees. If the government pay all the fees, they can help to focus on study. For instance, Italy state gives provides full funded scholarship to reduces student mental pressure and also the education rate and carrier growth are increase significantly. In addition, Italy government also gives scholarship for international students. Although some argue that government should pay money other important parts, I believe that education can contribute to a country’s development so government should pay course fees.

In conclusion, government should spend money on education to help students carrier growth and reduce the burden on student life. Therefore, I believe that students can contribute to the country developments and also increase the taxes.

Word Count: 311

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

government: 11

should: 6

student: 6

education: 6

course: 5

carrier: 5

people: 4

spend: 4

university: 4

increase: 4

growth: 4

their: 4

students: 4

believe: 3

money: 3

reduce: 3

because: 3

gives: 3

taxes: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position in agreement. The main ideas are relevant, but the development is somewhat limited and lacks precision. The arguments are supported with examples, but the reasoning could be more fully extended. There are some lapses in clarity and focus, particularly in the second body paragraph where the example of Italy is not fully explained. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, develop ideas with more specific and logical support, and avoid vague statements. Also, proofread for grammatical errors and word choice issues to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is often disrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'Therefore, up to 90% people are doing better job and built their carrier.'). Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively managed to enhance clarity. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea with smooth transitions.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition (e.g., 'carrier growth', 'reduce pressure'). There are attempts at using more sophisticated words (e.g., 'contribute', 'significantly'), but they are often used incorrectly or in awkward contexts. Spelling errors (e.g., 'carrier' instead of 'career') and incorrect word choices (e.g., 'spend money for' instead of 'spend money on') detract from the overall quality. To improve, expand your vocabulary and practice using words in the correct context. Also, pay attention to collocations and word forms. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'who wants to study' should be 'who want to study'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'an increase carrier growth' should be 'an increase in career growth'), and missing articles (e.g., 'the Government' vs. 'government'). Sentence structures are often simple and repetitive, with limited use of complex sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement, article usage, and verb tenses. Practice writing more complex sentences with subordinate clauses to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.

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