Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 5+: There is a growing trend toward creating fully automated 'smart' homes that control lighting, temperature, security, and appliances. Do the advantages of living in a fully automated home outweigh the disadvantages?

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It commonly preferred that majority of people are completely relying on modern home facilities which are controlled by artificial intelligence. Although this relyness can cause sedentary lifestyle on many people’s life, I belive that this easy approach can be more useful for older people or somone is disable.

There are some reasons why smart homes may be harmful for people’s health. Firstly, If people perform any minor task with the help of AI based facilities this makes sedentary lifestyle. Less-active lifestyle cause even some major problems with health.For example, old people who are upper 55 years old are advised to be more active throughout the daytime. Which means that these people can not overuse smart-house facilities in order to avoiding health issues. In addition to this, those who are smart-home users may be lazy for doing household chores. As a result, those people may feel boreness and laziness. This feelings even give people psychological pressure.

However using smart home facilities is the best method for disable people. The reason why is that if these invalid people stay home alone AI based programs can definetly help for doing any tasks without someone’s help. Consequently, this independence gives disable people confident on their performance. Moreover, in these type of smart- houses there has strong security system all the time which gives access to home-owners can leave their apartment whenever they want.

In conclusion, inspite some problems which smart-houses can cause in my view, artificial intelligence based facilities are much more comfortable for disable people and keeping safety at home.

Word Count: 257

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 11

facilities: 5

which: 4

cause: 3

lifestyle: 3

based: 3

these: 3

disable: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position: that the benefits for disabled individuals outweigh the health risks associated with a sedentary lifestyle. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While the main points are relevant, they lack depth and specific detail. For instance, the argument regarding security systems is mentioned but not fully explained in the context of how it outweighs the disadvantages. To improve, try to extend your arguments by explaining the 'how' and 'why' more thoroughly. Additionally, ensure that your supporting examples are more robust and that you avoid repetitive vocabulary (e.g., 'disable people', 'smart-house facilities'). Strengthening the logical connection between your points and the overall conclusion will help achieve a higher score.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing both sides, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes interrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated cohesive devices and ensuring that each sentence flows logically into the next. Avoid starting sentences with 'Which means that' as this creates sentence fragments; instead, connect these ideas to the preceding sentence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the main ideas, but there is a limited range of lexical items. There are several instances of incorrect word forms, such as 'relyness' (reliance), 'boreness' (boredom), and 'disable people' (disabled people). To reach a higher band, aim to use more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that word forms (nouns, adjectives, verbs) are used correctly in context. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement, incorrect preposition usage, and problems with sentence structure (e.g., 'there has strong security system'). There is an attempt to use complex structures, but they are often inaccurate. Focus on mastering basic sentence structures, correct article usage, and the proper formation of complex sentences to improve clarity and accuracy.

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