Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 4+: With the rise of remote medical consultations, healthcare is becoming more accessible to people in rural areas. Are the advantages of this development greater than the disadvantages?

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Eventually, It can be seen the rise of remote medical consultation, traditional in-person doctor visits are becoming less common. Thiss essay will disscus if the benefits of this shift outweigh the drawbacks.

In terms of advantages, remote medical consultation due for many causes, the major reason is for taking preventive measures for doctors. To illustrate there are many illness spreading quickly only when you face the patient for example illness of corana which occure in 2019. The excellent way for this instnace is to keep the patient alone and provide to him all the staff and medecine he propably want.

However, remote medical consultation also include many disadvantages, one of the most drawbacks prevalent is less care with the patient. As we know the doctors should be more aware by their patient to mitigate their illness. Moreover, Providing he treatment by doctors play a substantial role. Which makes the patient fell optimism. Furthermore, the presence of physician is inevitable sommetimes. For instnace there are many illness needs to use the treatment correctly wich make the doctor keen on it.

In conclusion, I believe that the rise of remote medical consultations has drawbacks outweigh the benefits. Because in my point of view should the presence of doctore make the patient more optimism and comfortable.

Word Count: 213

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

patient: 6

remote: 4

medical: 4

illness: 4

consultation: 3

doctors: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the reasoning behind your claims. Also, ensure that your arguments are well-organized and easy to follow. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. The introduction is weak and doesn't clearly state the essay's purpose. The body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions, making it difficult to follow the arguments. The conclusion is abrupt and doesn't effectively summarize the main points. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring your essay with clear paragraphs, using topic sentences to introduce each paragraph's main idea, and employing transition words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices. There are instances of awkward phrasing and imprecise language. To enhance lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise and varied language. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to make your writing sound more natural. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including errors in sentence structure, verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. These errors significantly impede clarity and understanding. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Proofread your work carefully to identify and correct errors.

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