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Band 4+: birth rate among different aged group birth per 1000 women in England from 1973 to 2020.

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The image illustrates birth rates per 1,000 women in England from 1973 to 2020 for four age groups: in 1973, aged under 20 at ~50, aged 20-25 at ~120, aged 28-34 at ~70, aged 40+ at ~5; in 1980, aged under 20 at ~40, aged 20-25 at ~95, aged 28-34 at ~65, aged 40+ at ~9; in 1993, aged under 20 at ~35, aged 20-25 at ~75, aged 28-34 at ~80, aged 40+ at ~15; in 2001, aged under 20 at ~30, aged 20-25 at ~65, aged 28-34 at ~90, aged 40+ at ~20; in 2008, aged under 20 at ~35, aged 20-25 at ~65, aged 28-34 at ~105, aged 40+ at ~25; in 2020, aged under 20 at ~10, aged 20-25 at ~40, aged 28-34 at ~100, aged 40+ at ~35.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illistrates the details of birth range among female in England, from 1973 to 2020.

Overall, There is clear that aged 28-34 womens incresed. In 1973 range of birth starts from 20 to in 2020. Whereas aged 20-25 womens are decreased from 120 to 20 in the year 1973 to 2020.

In the begaining of the period England women aged 20, aged 20-25 and aged aged 40 are the figures of measured in birth 1000 womens starts from 0 to 20 in the year 1973. While aged 40 plus women starts from range of 10 in 1973 and aftre decreased and remain stable from 2001 to 2020. By contrast aged under 20 was starts from 20 in the year 1973 and fall slightly in 2001 and after rose steadily from 2001 to 2020.

In the other hand, England women aged 28-34 are starts from 20 in the year 1973 and in 1980 rose slightly from 20 to 50 after that skyroaketed from 50 to 80 in 2020.While Englands womens aged 20-25 highly increased 120 in 1973 and after fell sharply in 2008 and remained stable in 2020.

Word Count: 189

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A1 - Beginner
Aim to use more advanced language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

starts: 5

womens: 4

birth: 3

range: 3

england: 3

20-25: 3

women: 3

after: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by mentioning different age groups and trends over the period. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and clarity. Many of the figures provided in the report do not align with the visual description (for example, stating the 28-34 age group started at 20 when the data suggests ~70, or stating the 20-25 group ended at 20 when it was ~40). Additionally, the descriptions of trends are often contradictory or confusingly phrased. To improve, focus on accurately extracting the numbers from the chart and using clearer sentence structures to describe whether a trend is increasing, decreasing, or remaining stable.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat logical, but the progression of ideas is frequently interrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. While you attempt to use cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'By contrast', and 'In the other hand' (which should be 'On the other hand'), they are not always used effectively to link ideas. To improve, focus on using transition words to show relationships between trends (e.g., 'consequently', 'similarly', 'in contrast') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic. Avoid starting sentences with 'While' or 'Whereas' unless they are connecting two clauses within the same sentence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is quite limited and contains several spelling errors (e.g., 'illistrates', 'incresed', 'begaining', 'skyroaketed'). There is also frequent misuse of words, such as using 'range of birth' instead of 'birth rate' and 'womens' instead of 'women'. To improve, work on learning the correct collocations for describing trends (e.g., 'a significant increase', 'a sharp decline') and ensure you use the correct plural forms of irregular nouns. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' will also help avoid repetition. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and often impede the reader's understanding. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'womens are decreased'), tense consistency, and sentence structure (e.g., 'aged 40 plus women starts from range of 10'). Many sentences are fragmented or poorly constructed. I recommend focusing on basic sentence structures: Subject + Verb + Object. Practice using the past tense correctly for historical data and work on the construction of complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions to describe simultaneous trends.

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Band 4+: birth rate among different aged group birth per 1000 women in England from 1973 to 2020.

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Answers On The Same Topic:

birth rate among different aged group birth per 1000 women in England from 1973 to 2020.

birth rate among different aged group birth per 1000 women in England from 1973 to 2020.

birth rate among different aged group birth per 1000 women in England from 1973 to 2020.

birth rate among different aged group birth per 1000 women in England from 1973 to 2020.

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