Multiple Graphs

Band 5+: IELTS Academic Writing Task 1/ Graph Writing - Line Graphs: » You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The line graphs below show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: IELTS Academic Writing Task 1/ Graph Writing - Line Graphs: » You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The line graphs below show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

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The image contains two line graphs. The first, 'Demand for Steel', shows Amount Produced and Actual Demand in million tonnes from January to December. Amount Produced values were approximately: Jan 4000, Feb 4600, Mar 5000, Apr 3900, May 3900, Jun 4000, Jul 3800, Aug 4900, Sep 4100, Oct 3200, Nov 1900, and Dec 800. Actual Demand values were approximately: Jan 2100, Feb 2300, Mar 3000, Apr 2200, May 1800, Jun 2800, Jul 2200, Aug 2500, Sep 2900, Oct 1700, Nov 200, and Dec 2000. The second graph, 'Number of workers employed', shows the number of workers in thousands for the same period. The values were approximately: Jan 5000, Feb 5600, Mar 3000, Apr 3000, May 3100, Jun 2700, Jul 2800, Aug 3500, Sep 2900, Oct 2700, Nov 2200, and Dec 1000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The first line graph illustrates the comparison between the production and demand of steel, while the second graph displays information about the number of employees hired in steel industry in 2010 in the United Kingdom.

Overall, it can be seen that the production of steel has dramatically fallen in month of december while the demand of steel has witnessed a surge in the same month. Employment of workers in steel industry has also seen a downward trajectory, effecting livelihood of thousand of workers.

Looking first, the production of steel showed steadily growth from the month of january to april, reaching from 4000 to 5000 respectively. This was due to the result of an excessive demand in stell that rose to 3000 before April. The production mantained a steady trajectorty until August where it witnessed a surge in figure, peaking at 5000. In contrast, the demand showed flactuations during the months of April and August, reaching its record lowest to almsot 0.

The rapid decline in production of steel as demand hits the bottom line has bad effects on workers. Many fo them were laid off as their numbers dropped below to 3000 in April, starting from 5000 in January. Industry employed workers again in August as their numbers modestly increased to approximately 3200 followed by a massive wave of termination in the month of december, leaving behind only 1000.

Word Count: 229

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

steel: 7

production: 5

demand: 5

month: 4

april: 4

industry: 3

workers: 3

august: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing both graphs and making some comparisons. However, there are several inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, the claim that demand reached 'almost 0' is incorrect, and the description of production trends is not entirely accurate (e.g., production peaked in March, not August). The report also omits key data points, such as the significant drop in production in November and December, and the demand spike in December. Additionally, the language contains errors and informal expressions (e.g., 'effect livelihood', 'bad effects', 'massive wave of termination') that affect clarity. To improve, focus on accurately summarizing the main trends, include specific data to support your statements, and use more formal and precise vocabulary.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. For example, 'Looking first' is an unusual transition, and the phrase 'This was due to the result of an excessive demand' is redundant. The second body paragraph shifts focus abruptly from production/demand to workers, and the connection between the two graphs could be made more explicit. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph has a single main idea. Also, use cohesive devices more naturally to link ideas within and between sentences.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary for describing trends (e.g., 'dramatically fallen', 'witnessed a surge', 'downward trajectory'), but there are several errors and awkward choices that limit precision. For instance, 'steadily growth' should be 'steady growth', 'mantained a steady trajectorty' has spelling errors, and 'flactuations' should be 'fluctuations'. The phrase 'effect on workers' is vague, and 'bad effects' is informal. To improve, expand your range of synonyms for describing changes (e.g., 'plummet', 'soar', 'remain stable') and ensure correct word forms and collocations. Also, avoid informal language like 'hits the bottom line'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report attempts a mix of sentence structures, including complex sentences, but there are numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include missing articles ('in month of december' should be 'in the month of December'), incorrect prepositions ('dropped below to 3000' should be 'dropped to below 3000' or 'dropped below 3000'), and subject-verb agreement issues ('the production of steel showed steadily growth' should be 'showed steady growth'). There are also spelling errors ('mantained', 'trajectorty', 'flactuations', 'almsot', 'fo them', 'december'). To improve, review basic grammar rules, especially articles, prepositions, and verb forms, and proofread carefully to eliminate spelling mistakes. Using a wider range of structures, such as passive voice and relative clauses, would also enhance grammatical range.

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