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Band 5+: IELTS Writing Task 1: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or college lecturer. Write at least 150 words

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Image for topic: IELTS Writing Task 1: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or college lecturer. Write at least 150 words

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The image presents two graphs about eight professions. A bar chart, 'Average number of hours worked per week', shows the following hours: Movie Producers 60, Businessmen 65, Doctors 50, Writers 47, Programmers 40, Lawyers 38, Chefs 30, and Lecturers 25. A pie chart, 'Occupations of people suffering from stress-related illness', shows the percentage distribution: Lecturers 20%, Movie Producers 18%, Doctors 15%, Business men 11%, Chefs 10%, Programmers 9%, Lawyers 8%, and Writers 8%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar graph illustrate on hours worked and stress levels within 8 different types of professionals including writters, doctors, chefts, lectures, lawyers, movie producers, programmers, and businessmen.

Overall, businessmen has the highest average number of hours worked per week resulting in total of 70 hours. Meanwhile, in contrast, the bar graph shows that lectures has the least working average hour per week, which is roughly around 24 hours, resulting lectures to be less stressful than businessmen.

In addition to it, regarding the working hours, businessmen recorded the highest among all at exactly 70 hours, followed by the music producers resulting the second highest working hours, precisely with 10 hours different from businessmen. Chefs, lawyers, and lectures, had roughly the same amount of working hours in a week, whereby it had no big difference hours among them, leading to top 3 less stressful professionals. Furthermore, doctors and writters worked about 45 to 50 hours. Conversely, programmers spot-on working for 40 hours.

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

hours: 12

working: 5

lectures: 4

worked: 3

businessmen: 3

highest: 3

resulting: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing both the bar chart and pie chart, and it includes an overall trend. However, there are several inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, the report states businessmen work 70 hours, but the visual description indicates 65 hours. It also mentions 'music producers' instead of 'movie producers' and incorrectly states that lecturers are less stressful than businessmen, which is not supported by the pie chart (lecturers have the highest percentage of stress-related illness). The report omits specific data from the pie chart, such as the percentages for each profession, and does not clearly compare the stress levels across all professions. To improve, ensure all data is accurately reported, use precise figures from the charts, and provide a clear comparison of both the hours worked and stress levels for all eight professions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For example, the phrase 'In addition to it' is awkward, and the connection between working hours and stress levels is not always clearly maintained. The paragraphing could be improved by separating the discussion of the bar chart and pie chart more distinctly. To enhance coherence, use clear topic sentences and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Additionally, use cohesive devices such as 'while', 'whereas', and 'in contrast' more effectively to link ideas.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary (e.g., 'average number of hours', 'stress-related illness'), but there are several inaccuracies and limited range. For instance, 'writters', 'chefts', 'lectures', and 'businessmen' are misspelled, and 'spot-on' is informal. The phrase 'resulting in total of 70 hours' is awkward, and 'top 3 less stressful professionals' is unclear. To improve, use a wider range of precise vocabulary (e.g., 'approximately', 'significantly', 'notably') and ensure correct spelling of professions. Also, avoid informal expressions and use more formal academic language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'The bar graph illustrate' should be 'The bar graph illustrates', 'businessmen has' should be 'businessmen have', and 'lectures has' should be 'lecturers have'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure (e.g., 'whereby it had no big difference hours among them' is unclear). The report relies on simple sentence structures and lacks variety. To improve, practice using a range of complex structures (e.g., relative clauses, conditionals) and ensure subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles. Proofreading for punctuation and grammar is essential.

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Band 5+: IELTS Writing Task 1: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or college lecturer. Write at least 150 words

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Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

IELTS Writing Task 1: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or college lecturer. Write at least 150 words

IELTS Writing Task 1: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or college lecturer. Write at least 150 words

IELTS Writing Task 1: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or college lecturer. Write at least 150 words

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