Bar Chart

Band 6+: Task 1: Survey Report The bar chart shows how people are willing to make a change during their life among teenagers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. WRITE AT LEAST 150 WORDS.

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Image for topic: Task 1: Survey Report The bar chart shows how people are willing to make a change during their life among teenagers. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. WRITE AT LEAST 150 WORDS.

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The image presents data with numerical values as follows: "Give money to charity" at 8, "Do something adventurously" at 6, "Ride bicycle instead of motorbike" at 7, "Visit a new place" at 8, "Exercise one hour a day" at 6, "Reduce pollution in the living area" at 8, "Buy new clothes to look younger" at 8.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given bar chart illustratesthe various life changes that youth are willing to make.

Overall, it can be seen that ‘ visiting a new place’, ‘reducing pollution’ and ‘purchasing new clothes’ were the most popular choices, while ‘exercising for an hour a day’ was the least preferred change. Most teenagers prefer traveling and the environment instead of daily exercise

Looking at the details, three categories all shared the highest rank of 8: visiting a new place, reducing pollution in the living area and purchasing new clothes to look younger, which made up the highest score between all categories.

In contrast, other activities have lower scores. Giving money to charity and riding bicycle instead of motorbike both stood at 7.Doing something adventurously was s lightly lower, than that 2 I mentioned before, which accounted 6 units. Finally, the lowest preference between adolscents is exercising for an hour a day, which has only 5 points.

Word Count: 153

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing an overview and highlighting key features of the bar chart. The main trends are identified, and some comparisons are made. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., the score for 'exercising for an hour a day'). To improve, ensure all data points are accurately represented and consider a more structured approach to comparing and contrasting the different categories.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a generally clear overview of the data, but the organization could be improved for better flow. The introduction and overall statement are adequate, but the body paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and transitions. For instance, the shift from discussing the highest-ranked categories to the lower-ranked ones could be smoother. Consider using transitional phrases to guide the reader and improve the logical connection between ideas. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the data to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. While words like 'popular,' 'preferred,' and 'preference' are suitable, incorporating a wider range of synonyms and more specific terms could elevate the report. For example, instead of 'made up the highest score,' you could use 'represented the largest proportion.' Aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary to describe the trends and comparisons in the data.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Correcting these errors would improve the overall quality of the report. For example, 'illustratesthe' should be 'illustrates the,' and 'Doing something adventurously was s lightly lower, than that 2 I mentioned before, which accounted 6 units' is grammatically awkward and unclear. Focus on accurate sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading carefully can help identify and eliminate these errors.

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