Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar graphs shows the shares of expenditure in five categories

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The image depicts a bar chart. Food: USA 10%, Canada 15%, UK 12%, Japan 23%; Housing: USA 25%, Canada 22%, UK 21%, Japan 20%; Transportation: USA 20%, Canada 18%, UK 27%, Japan 10%; Health care: USA 18%, Canada 10%, UK 9%, Japan 10%; Clothing: USA 5%, Canada 6%, UK 7%, Japan 5%.

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The bar chart depicts expenditures for five huge categories in four countries: the USA, Canada, the UK and Japan in 2009.

Overall, generally all four countries had the highest percentage shares in first three categories ( food, housing and transportation), while those of health care and clothing were the lowest throughout the period.

Starting with the categories with the highest percentage shares of expenditure, the USA and Canada had relatively similar percentage shares (14% and 15% respectively). The UK had higher figure which stood at 20% and Japan’s percentage share accounted for by around 23%. Regarding the next category (housing), the USA was leader in this one as its percentage share was approximately 27% as opposed to that of the UK at 24%. Canada’s percentage made up around 22%, while the figure for Japan was approximately 23%. Canada had the highest percentage share of expenditure on transportation which accounted for by 20%, whereas the USA had a slightly lower percentage share ( around 17%). Then there was the UK with its figure standing at 15% and Japan with 10% percentage share.

In terms of remaining categories, the UK had the lowest percentage share of expenditure on health care (approximately 2%). Canada and Japan had relatively same figures making of 4%, while that of the USA was around 7%. Canada had the highest percentage share of expenditure on clothing ( around 6%) and the figure for the UK was slightly lower than 6%. The USA’s percentage share stood at 4% and that of Japan at between 4% and 5%.

Word Count: 258

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 12

share: 7

canada: 5

japan: 5

around: 5

categories: 4

highest: 4

expenditure: 4

figure: 4

shares: 3

while: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overview, but it contains several inaccuracies in the data (e.g., food percentages, housing figures, transportation values, and health care percentages). These inaccuracies detract from the overall task achievement. To improve, ensure that all data points are accurately reported and that the overview clearly highlights the main trends. Additionally, avoid vague phrases like 'relatively similar' without specifying the exact values, and ensure that the report is well-organized with clear paragraphing.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized with clear paragraphing, and the overall message is easy to follow. However, some transitions between categories could be smoother, and a few sentences are slightly awkward, which may momentarily distract the reader. To improve, use more varied cohesive devices and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally appropriate and shows some flexibility, with phrases like 'percentage shares' and 'accounted for by'. However, there is some repetition (e.g., 'percentage share' used frequently) and a few imprecise word choices (e.g., 'huge categories' instead of 'major categories'). To enhance, use synonyms and more precise terms, and avoid informal or vague language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable range of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. Examples include 'the USA and Canada had relatively similar percentage shares (14% and 15% respectively)' (data may be inaccurate, but grammar is fine), 'the UK had higher figure' (missing article), 'accounted for by' (incorrect), and 'making of 4%' (incorrect). To improve, proofread for subject-verb agreement, article usage, and preposition accuracy, and aim for more complex structures with precision.

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Band 6+: The bar graphs shows the shares of expenditure in five categories

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The bar graphs shows the shares of expenditure in five categories

The bar graphs shows the shares of expenditure in five categories

The bar graphs shows the shares of expenditure in five categories

The bar graphs shows the shares of expenditure in five categories

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