Bar Chart

Band 4+: • Task 1: The chart below compares the percentage of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities in 2013.

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Image for topic: • Task 1: The chart below compares the percentage of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities in 2013.

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The image shows a bar graph comparing Australian parents' involvement in children's activities in 2013: Dressing- Both: 6%, Father: 2%, Mother: 75%; Homework- Both: 38%, Father: 10%, Mother: 50%; Playing games- Both: 56%, Father: 5%, Mother: 70%; Preparing for beds- Both: 11%, Father: 10%, Mother: 50%.

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The bar chart depicts the proportion of time that Australian mothers and fathers allocated to assist their children with four activities in 2013

Overview: mẹ cao nhất.., ba cao nhất.., both thấp nhất..

From an overall perspective, it is evident that mothers dedicated significant time to dressing and homework for the children while fathers spent more time on playing games and preparing for beds. In addition, joint parental involvement accounted for the lowest percentage during the timeframe.

Looking more closely at the data, the chart of dressing and enjoying games accounted for the highest shares across the diagram. Whereas the fathers’ help in game recreation contributed to 70%, the same amount was spent by mothers on dressing their children up. Meanwhile, the second highest share of time spent by mothers and fathers was reported in helping with school assignments ( 60% and 30%, respectively) and sleep preparation (nearly 50% and exactly 50%, accordingly).

In contrast, not all activities were helped by both parents, demonstrating the smallest percentage across all types of activities. However, providing assistance in studying exhibited the largest share of 10% by both parents.

Word Count: 186

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

mothers: 4

fathers: 3

children: 3

activities: 3

dressing: 3

spent: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but suffers from significant issues with data accuracy and coherence. There are placeholder notes (e.g., 'mẹ cao nhất..') left in the text, which should be removed. More importantly, the data reported contradicts the visual information provided; for example, the report claims fathers spent more time on playing games and preparing for beds, whereas the data shows mothers lead in those categories as well. Additionally, the specific figures provided in the body paragraphs do not align with the trends described. To improve, ensure all placeholder text is deleted and focus on accurately extracting and reporting the numbers from the chart to ensure the comparison is logical and truthful.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report suffers from significant structural issues. The inclusion of placeholder notes (e.g., 'mẹ cao nhất..') is highly unprofessional and disrupts the flow of the writing. Furthermore, the logical progression of ideas is inconsistent; for example, the overview contains factual contradictions compared to the body paragraphs, and the transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt. To improve, ensure that every sentence contributes to a logical argument and remove any informal notes or non-English text before submission.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat varied (e.g., 'allocated', 'dedicated', 'exhibited'), but there are instances of incorrect word choice and awkward phrasing. For example, 'the chart of dressing and enjoying games accounted for the highest shares' is semantically incorrect, as a chart cannot account for a share; the activities do. Additionally, the use of 'accordingly' instead of 'respectively' is a common error. Focus on using precise collocations and ensuring that the nouns and verbs used are appropriate for describing statistical data.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical inaccuracies that hinder clarity. The sentence structures are often fragmented or incorrectly constructed, particularly in the body paragraphs. There are issues with subject-verb agreement and the misuse of comparative structures. To improve, practice using complex sentence structures (such as subordinate clauses) more accurately and ensure that punctuation is used correctly to separate distinct ideas.

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Band 4+: • Task 1: The chart below compares the percentage of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities in 2013.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

• Task 1: The chart below compares the percentage of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities in 2013.

• Task 1: The chart below compares the percentage of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities in 2013.

• Task 1: The chart below compares the percentage of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities in 2013.

• Task 1: The chart below compares the percentage of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities in 2013.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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