Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart below gives information on the number of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

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The image presents a bar chart depicting skilled migrants to Australia in four occupations from 2009-2012. For accountants, 2009 had approximately 18,000, 2010 with 25,000, 2011 with 22,000, and 2012 returned to 18,000 migrants. Cooks had about 9,000 in 2009, increasing to 10,000 in 2010, 12,000 in 2011, and about 19,000 in 2012. Software engineers started with 19,000 in 2009, decreased to 15,000 in 2010, increased to 16,000 in 2011, and reached about 24,000 by 2012. Computer programmers began with 4,000 in 2009, stayed around 3,000 from 2010 to 2011, and slightly above 5,000 in 2012.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the numbers of workers (in thousands) in various occupations who migrated to Australia from 2009 to 2012.

Overall, the number of employees working as accountants was significantly higher compared to computer programmers, which was the lowest despite an increase, while the number of workers in cooking and software engineering decreased. It is also clear that people who were employed as software engineers were greater in number.

Turning to an accountant, there were 20 thousands workers at the beginning of the period, which was increased at around 28 thousands and significantly decreased to 22 thousands to the end of the period. In contrast, in 2009 the lowest number of workers were computer programmers at 2 thousands which was rose to 5 thousands.

In 2009, the number of workers in cooking were not as high as software engineers with standing at around 17 thousands compered to 19 thousands. In 2011, both occupations were increased at 18 and 21 thousands. However, at the end of period the number of workers dropped with figures standing at 16 and 17 thousands.

Word Count: 180

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

thousands: 8

workers: 6

number: 5

which: 3

software: 3

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the requirements of the task, but there are some inaccuracies in the data reported. The structure is present, but the information is not always clear or well-organized. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the chart and organizing the information more logically, perhaps by grouping trends or comparing specific years more directly.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a basic overview of the data, but the organization could be improved for better clarity. The information jumps between different occupations and years without a clear structure, making it difficult to follow the trends. Consider grouping information by occupation or by year to create a more coherent narrative. The use of cohesive devices is limited, which further impacts the flow of the report. For example, transitions between paragraphs and sentences could be smoother.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for describing the basic trends in the bar chart. However, there is room for improvement in using more precise and varied language to describe the data. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'increased' or 'decreased,' try incorporating synonyms like 'rose,' 'grew,' 'declined,' or 'fell.' Also, consider using more specific vocabulary related to numerical data, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' or 'remained stable.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. For example, 'there were 20 thousands workers' should be 'there were 20 thousand workers,' and 'which was increased' should be 'which increased.' Pay close attention to these areas to improve grammatical accuracy. Also, vary your sentence structure to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.

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Band 5+: The bar chart below gives information on the number of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The bar chart below gives information on the number of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

The bar chart below gives information on the number of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

The bar chart below gives information on the number of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

The bar chart below gives information on the number of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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