Bar Chart

Band 4+: The bar chart below shows the number of overseas students enrolled in a second year graphic design course in the south of England.

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The image displays a bar chart indicating the number of overseas students from abroad enrolled in second-year graphic design courses, categorized into CAD core option and Photography core option, and segregated by gender. In France, the numbers are: Males in CAD (6), Photography (3); Females in CAD (3), Photography (2). In Germany: Males in CAD (5), Photography (2); Females in CAD (7), Photography (2). In Sweden: Males in CAD (9), Photography (2); Females in CAD (8), Photography (3). In Spain: Males in CAD (5), Photography (2); Females in CAD (2), Photography (1). In Syria: Males in CAD (3), Photography (1); Females in CAD (1), Photography (0).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram presents the amount of second term graphic design students from overseas in the south of England. Overall, the male students dominate the graph on computer aided design core option, while, the female students dominate the photography core option.

Both of female and male from Sweden give approximately a balance amount in total. While computer aided design core option dominated by male, photography dominated by the opposite. As a result, Sweden give the largest amount of students that enrolled in the south of England.

In contrast, Syria give the least number of students that enrolled in both fields, which are computer aided design and photography. Furthermore, Syria cannot hide a female domination on computer aided design. Nearly all of students from Syria who takes computer aided design are female.

Word Count: 130

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

design: 6

students: 6

computer: 5

aided: 5

female: 4

amount: 3

photography: 3

syria: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the bar chart but contains inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The overview is not clear and contains incorrect information. The description lacks specific details and accurate comparisons between the different categories and countries. To improve, focus on providing an accurate overview, supporting statements with specific data, and avoiding misinterpretations of the information presented in the chart. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information, but the flow is disrupted by abrupt transitions and a lack of clear connections between sentences. Paragraphing is present but could be improved to better group related ideas. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader through the data and highlight key trends.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Some phrases are a bit vague or could be expressed more concisely. Try to incorporate more specific vocabulary related to data comparison and trend analysis to enhance the impact of your descriptions. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. Sentence structures are relatively simple, and there are instances of incorrect word usage and awkward phrasing. Focus on improving sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions to enhance grammatical accuracy.

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