Bar Chart

Band 6+: the bar chart below shows the percentage of "very good reply" in four aspects in three hospitals in 2009

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The image shows percentage of 'very good reply' in 2009 for waiting time: Hospital A 85%, Hospital B 60%, Hospital C 35%; staff: Hospital A 60%, Hospital B 50%, Hospital C 45%; hospital treatment: Hospital A 60%, Hospital B 45%, Hospital C 40%; cares after treatment: Hospital A 80%, Hospital B 50%, Hospital C 39%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the information about the proportion of “very good reply” in four categories in three hospitals in 2009.

Overall, it is clear that Hospital A and Hospital B had the highest proportions, for staff and care after treatment. Hospital C recorded the lowest proportion of waiting time.

For waiting time, Hospital A had 74% of positive replies, while Hospital B recorded around 60%. Hospital C had the lowest proportion, at about 52%. For the staff category, the proportion of patients satisfied with staff in Hospital A was 80%, around 74% in Hospital B and the lowest in Hospital C, at about 60%.

In Hospital B, the percentage of very good replies for hospital treatment was 70%. Hospital B and Hospital C both had 63% of positive replies. Hospital B had the highest share of patients satisfied with Care after Treatment, while Hospital C recorded around 72%. Hospital A had the lowest percentage of very good replies,at approximately 52%.

Word Count: 161

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

hospital: 16

proportion: 4

lowest: 4

about: 3

staff: 3

treatment: 3

recorded: 3

replies: 3

around: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the information presented in the bar chart, but it contains significant inaccuracies and some irrelevant details. The data reported in the body paragraphs does not match the data in the visual description, which significantly detracts from the task achievement. To improve, ensure that the data cited in your report accurately reflects the information provided in the chart. Also, focus on presenting the most important trends and differences rather than including every single detail.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and attempts to group information, but the organization could be improved for clarity. The flow between paragraphs feels somewhat disjointed, and the connections between sentences within paragraphs could be strengthened to enhance coherence. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. While terms like 'proportion,' 'percentage,' and 'satisfied' are used, incorporating a wider range of synonyms and more specific vocabulary related to patient satisfaction and hospital services could elevate the report. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'proportion,' consider alternatives like 'percentage,' 'rate,' or 'level.' Also, aim for more precise language to describe the data, avoiding vague terms like 'around' and 'about' when specific figures are available. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a basic understanding of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Sentence structures are relatively simple, and there's limited use of more complex constructions. To improve, focus on incorporating a wider range of sentence types, such as compound and complex sentences, to express relationships between ideas more effectively. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading carefully for these common errors can significantly enhance the report's grammatical accuracy.

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