Bar Chart

Band 5+: The bar chart illustrates the percentage of students selecting different univeristy subjects in a university in the UK in 2010.

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The image shows percentage data of students selecting various university subjects: Engineering 18%, Business 15%, Medicine 12%, Arts 10%, Law 8%, Computer Science 20%, Psychology 7%, Education 6%.

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The given bar chart represents a precentage of students from different university majors in the United Kingdom in 2010. Understand that the x-axis illustrates the university subject and the y-axis reprecents prencentage of students in each subject. In 2010, the United Kingdom most popular major throughout all students seems to be computer science. To my knowledge, at that time technology improved and become more known amoung people, this mostly the main reason why 20% of students first pick was computer science.

Engineering is a well-known major as it is one of the oldest university subject in history with 18% of students choosing this major. Business comes in third with 15% of students that are passionate about business. 12% of students prefer medicine because it is one of the important subjects in all of history, were they treat people and save lives.

Arts, Psychology, and Education are not popular amoungest young students in 2010. People don’t rely on those subjects as they seem to not offer proper job or decent salery. Law is not a crowd pleaser thoughout university students in 2010, as it seems only 8% of students are enrolled in this major.

Word Count: 193

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 10

university: 4

major: 4

subject: 3

people: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some noticeable issues. The description of the data is somewhat general and lacks specific comparisons and details. The inclusion of personal opinions and speculations about why students chose certain majors is inappropriate for this type of report. To improve, focus on objectively describing the data, making direct comparisons between categories, and avoiding personal interpretations or external information not provided in the chart.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear overview statement and the paragraphing could be improved. The ideas are not always logically connected, and the writing sometimes feels disjointed. For example, the connection between the rise of technology and the popularity of computer science is asserted but not clearly explained. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate but could be more precise and varied. There are instances of informal language ('crowd pleaser') that are not appropriate for an academic report. Try to use more specific and sophisticated vocabulary related to trends and data analysis.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect spellings ('reprecent', 'prencentage', 'amoung'), incorrect verb forms, and awkward phrasing. These errors affect the clarity of the writing. Focus on improving your accuracy with basic grammar and sentence structure. Proofread carefully to catch errors before submitting your work.

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Band 5+: The bar chart illustrates the percentage of students selecting different univeristy subjects in a university in the UK in 2010.

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of students selecting different univeristy subjects in a university in the UK in 2010.

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of students selecting different univeristy subjects in a university in the UK in 2010.

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