Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays a bar chart illustrating the number of skilled migrants to Australia, measured in thousands of workers, across four occupations for the years 2009, 2010, 2011, and 2012. For the Accountant category, the numbers were 20 in 2009, 27 in 2010, 22 in 2011, and 21 in 2012. For the Cook occupation, the figures were 16 in 2009, 15 in 2010, 18 in 2011, and 16 in 2012. The number of Software engineer migrants was 19 in 2009, 20 in 2010, 21 in 2011, and 18 in 2012. For Computer programmers, the values were 2.5 in 2009, 4 in 2010, 2.5 in 2011, and 5 in 2012.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar graph illustrates the number of employees who migrated to Australia in four fields across a quadrennium, commencing from 2009, in thousand workers.

Overall, accountant recorded the highest point in the figure for workers migrating to Australia over the surveyed time frame, expect for computer programmer which declined. While both cook and software engineer were relatively similar.

Regarding accountant and computer programmer, the number of accountant started at exactly 20, rising significantly to approximately 27 and then drop roughly 22. By contrast, the figure for workers who select computer programmer was recorded at just under 5 in 2009 then fluctuated negligibly between 3 and 5, reaching 5 in 2012.

Concerning the remaning categories, there were a similar figure for two fields, namely cook and software engineer. Cook stood at around 17, peaked at nearly 20 in 2010, thereafter recovering minimally to roughly 17 in 2012. Finally, software engineer started at just under 20, after which it increase to just over 20 in 2011, before ending at around 18.

Word Count: 169

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

accountant: 3

figure: 3

computer: 3

programmer: 3

software: 3

engineer: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task, presenting a general overview of the data and highlighting key trends and comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported and some areas where more specific details could have been included to enhance the response. To improve, ensure data accuracy by double-checking figures and calculations. Also, focus on providing more precise details and avoid vague language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. The 'Overall' paragraph is a good start, but the subsequent paragraphs lack clear transitions and connections between ideas. Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link sentences and paragraphs more effectively. For example, explicitly state the relationship between the accountant/computer programmer trends and the cook/software engineer trends. Paragraphing is generally acceptable, but ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the data.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances where more precise or sophisticated language could be used. For example, 'recorded the highest point' could be rephrased for greater impact. There are also some instances of awkward phrasing (e.g., 'select computer programmer'). Expanding your vocabulary related to describing trends and data comparisons would enhance the report. Focus on using synonyms and varied sentence structures to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors include subject-verb agreement issues ('accountant recorded'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward sentence structures. While the overall meaning is generally understandable, these errors detract from the report's professionalism. Focus on proofreading carefully for common grammatical mistakes and varying your sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control. Pay attention to correct article usage and preposition choices.

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Band 6+: The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information on the numbers of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia between 2009 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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the bar chart shows types of media that people of different age groups used to get daily news in one country in 2011.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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