Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows the favourite leisure activities among girls and boys

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The image presents a bar graph detailing percentages of favorite leisure activities among Canadian teenagers, split by gender: Sports are favored by 30% of boys and 15% of girls, Computer Games by 25% of boys and 15% of girls, Music by 20% of both boys and girls, and Shopping is the choice of 35% of girls and 5% of boys.

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The bar graph provides information regarding the favourite leisure activities of the Canadian teenage boys and girls . The data has been catogorized into 4 different categories namely Sports, Computer games, Music and shopping.

Overall, Shopping is the most favoutie leisure time activity of the boys and the least favourite for girls. Except for Music, the proportion of boys is higher in all other catorgories.

About 30% of Canadian teenage boys preferred to spend their leisure time in shopping. Among them, Sports was the second most liked actvity at about 25%. Next to Sports, Music was at just below 20% followed by the computer games, which was the least performed free-time activity among boys at just about 15%.

Among the Canadian girls, Music was the most preferred go-to activity with just below 20%. Next in the order is Computer games, liked by around 15% of the girls followed by Sports in the third position with around 10%. Contrary to boys,shopping was least favourite activity among girls with just about 5%.

Word Count: 170

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 5

sports: 4

music: 4

activity: 4

favourite: 3

leisure: 3

canadian: 3

computer: 3

games: 3

least: 3

among: 3

about: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains some inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The structure is generally clear, but the description of the data contains some errors. For example, it incorrectly states that shopping is the most favorite activity for boys. To improve, ensure accurate data representation and avoid misinterpreting the information presented in the graph. Also, pay attention to the overall trends and make sure the overview accurately reflects the main points.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the structure could be improved for better flow. The introduction is clear, but the overall summary lacks a strong concluding statement. The organization of details within paragraphs could be more logical. For example, grouping activities by gender and then comparing them directly could enhance coherence. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Phrases like 'preferred go-to activity' are somewhat informal and could be replaced with more academic alternatives. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to describe trends and comparisons more effectively. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'liked by around,' consider using synonyms like 'favored by approximately,' 'chosen by nearly,' or 'preferred by about.' Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'Shopping is the most favoutie leisure time activity of the boys and the least favourite for girls' contains errors in word usage and agreement. There are also issues with preposition usage and article usage throughout the report. While the overall meaning is understandable, correcting these errors would significantly improve the report's grammatical accuracy. Proofread carefully and focus on using a wider range of sentence structures accurately.

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