Bar Chart

Band 4+: The chart below shows the nimbers of women in futher education in Britain in three periods.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the nimbers of women in futher education in Britain in three periods.

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The image presents data on men and women in further education in Britain, with figures in thousands. For males, the numbers for part-time and full-time education were, respectively: 1000 and approximately 140 in 1970/71; approximately 860 and 180 in 1980/81; and approximately 910 and 250 in 1990/91. For females, the corresponding figures were: approximately 750 and 100 in 1970/71; approximately 820 and 220 in 1980/81; and 1100 and 250 in 1990/91.

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The bar chart presents the information of female in futher education at three diffrent of times in the britain and whether they were learning full time or part time.

overall, between 1970 to 1990 the male part time education trends has slightly decreased and the female trends has a huge increase in three diffrent periods, however the both gender of full time education has rise over between 1970 to 1990.

The male further education shows a huge growth from 1970 to 1990. the full time education was the less popular in 1970 it was around 150 thousands of people however after 20 years it seens a big increase in full time education at 1990 it was around 350 thousands of males , moreover the part time education was the highest in 1970 then it slightly fall in 1980 however it returns at 1990 .

The female further education presents an rose sharply at both full time and part time education in 1970 the part time education was around 700 thousands of womens then in 1900 it is almost 1200 thousands of females what is more full time education at 1970 the numbers of womens was 100 thousand however in 1900 was around 300 thousand.

Word Count: 204

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

education: 11

however: 4

around: 4

thousands: 4

female: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains several inaccuracies and omissions. It focuses on both genders, whereas the task specifically asks about women in further education. The data for women is partially reported, but some figures are incorrect (e.g., part-time education in 1970/71 is stated as 700 thousand instead of approximately 750 thousand, and the 1990/91 figure is given as 1200 thousand instead of 1100 thousand). Additionally, the report includes irrelevant information about male education, which detracts from the task. The overall trend is identified, but the response lacks clarity and precision. To improve, focus solely on the female data, ensure accurate figures, and provide a clear overview of the main trends without extraneous details.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a basic structure with an introduction and an overview, but the flow of ideas is often disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. The overview is somewhat vague and does not clearly summarize the main trends. Paragraphing is not effectively managed, and the second paragraph mixes data for both genders without clear organization. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect (e.g., one paragraph for males, one for females). Additionally, use cohesive devices such as 'in contrast', 'similarly', and 'over the period' to link ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with frequent errors in word choice and spelling (e.g., 'futher', 'diffrent', 'seens', 'womens'). There is some attempt to use synonyms (e.g., 'growth', 'increase', 'rise'), but the range is narrow. To improve, expand your vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'fluctuate', 'peak', 'decline', 'remain stable') and use precise terms like 'approximately' or 'roughly' for approximations. Also, ensure correct spelling and word forms (e.g., 'different', 'seen', 'women').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors that significantly affect clarity, including subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. For example, 'the male part time education trends has slightly decreased' should be 'the trend for male part-time education slightly decreased'. There are also errors in plural forms ('womens' should be 'women') and incorrect use of prepositions. To improve, practice writing with a focus on sentence structure, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and using the correct tense (past simple for describing past data). Review basic grammar rules and proofread your work to eliminate errors.

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Band 4+: The chart below shows the nimbers of women in futher education in Britain in three periods.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The chart below shows the nimbers of women in futher education in Britain in three periods.

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The bar graph shows the profit made by SMG Entertainment in three European countries in the years 1997 and 2007.

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