Line Graph

Band 6+: The chart below shows the percentage of Australian people who were born in different places of the world.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the percentage of Australian people who were born in different places of the world.

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The image contains a line chart depicting percentages of Australian people born in different places of the world from 1976 to 2011. Total percentages start at 22.5 in 1976, rise to 25 in 1986, and to 30 in 2001, peaking at 35 in 2011. UK percentages decline from 14 in 1976 to around 7.5 in 2011. Other regions percentages begin at around 6 in 1976, rise steadily to 10 in 2006, settling at 12.5 in 2011. Asia percentages show a growth from around 2 in 1976 to 8 in 2011.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given line graph gives data about the proportion of Australian people who were born in different parts of the earth between 1976 and 2011.

Taken as a whole,it is clear that the proportion of Australian people who were born in Asia was the highes over the whole period.All of the figures except of UK went up by the end of the period.

The figure of Australians in Asia started at about 3% in 1976,which was followed by a sharp rise of nearly 12% without any drops untill the end of that time,being the peak over the whole time.As regards for the quantity of Australians in UK,it started at about 13% in 1976,at which point the percentage plummeted to 10% in 1986,before going down slightly to 5% in 2011 without fluctuations.

Regarding Australians in other countries,the quantity was equaled to just over 10 in the beginning.Despite a drammatic decline of approximately 4% in 1996,the rate surged to about 13 in 2006,before a drop of approximately 2% in 2011.As regards for the total rate of Astralians in all other countries,the rate started at nearly 28% in 1976,after which the figure fluctuated at around 27% from 1976 to 2011,which was followed by a noticeable growth of around 5% in 2011.

Word Count: 208

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

about: 4

australians: 3

started: 3

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Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends in the chart, such as the overall increase in the total percentage and the decline in the UK-born population. However, there are several inaccuracies and inconsistencies in the data presented (e.g., the starting values for Asia, UK, and total percentages, and the description of fluctuations). The overview is somewhat unclear and contains a misstatement about Asia being the highest throughout the period, which is not supported by the data. To improve, ensure that the key features are accurately summarized, and avoid introducing specific figures that are not consistent with the visual information. Focus on presenting a clear and accurate overview of the main trends, and use precise language to describe changes over time.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction and an overview, and it groups data by region. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references (e.g., 'the figure of Australians in Asia' and 'the quantity was equaled to just over 10'). The use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical, and some sentences are long and convoluted, making the message harder to follow. To improve, use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure each sentence logically connects to the next. Also, avoid overusing phrases like 'as regards for' and 'which was followed by'.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'sharp rise', 'plummeted', 'surged', 'fluctuated'), which is appropriate for the task. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward choices (e.g., 'the highes', 'drammatic', 'Astralians', 'equaled to just over 10' without a percentage sign). The phrasing is sometimes unnatural (e.g., 'the quantity of Australians in UK' and 'the rate started at nearly 28%'). To improve, use more precise and natural collocations (e.g., 'the percentage of Australians born in the UK') and ensure correct spelling and word forms. Also, vary the vocabulary to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses. However, there are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity (e.g., missing spaces after commas, 'it is clear that the proportion ... was the highes', 'without any drops untill', 'As regards for'). Some sentences are grammatically incorrect or incomplete (e.g., 'the quantity was equaled to just over 10 in the beginning' lacks a percentage sign and is awkward). To improve, proofread for subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and proper punctuation. Also, ensure that each sentence is complete and grammatically sound.

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