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Band 6+: The chart below shows the percentage of Australian people who were born in different places of the world.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the percentage of Australian people who were born in different places of the world.

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The image contains a line chart depicting percentages of Australian people born in different places of the world from 1976 to 2011. Total percentages start at 22.5 in 1976, rise to 25 in 1986, and to 30 in 2001, peaking at 35 in 2011. UK percentages decline from 14 in 1976 to around 7.5 in 2011. Other regions percentages begin at around 6 in 1976, rise steadily to 10 in 2006, settling at 12.5 in 2011. Asia percentages show a growth from around 2 in 1976 to 8 in 2011.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates the proportion of Australian individuals who were born in different parts of the world.

Overall, it can be clear from the graph that the immigrants from Asia increased their number over the 35 years period, as other nations did, while UK decreased. Total percent of immigrants did not increased over 35 percent.

The main immigrant were people from Asia, but they were just nearly 3 percent in 1976. Through the time they were slightly increasing, and in 1996 they started to increase sharply and were almost 15 percent of total immigrants. The other countries started from about 12 percent and fluctuated from 1976 to 1996, then started to increase and reached it peak in 2006 when it was almost 15 percent, and finally, slightly decreased in 2011 and was nearly 13 percent.

Meanwhile, UK immigrants started as the leader of immigrants but over the time it decreased and reached its lowest point in 2011 when it was only 5 percent of total immigrants. The total percentage of immigrants were almost 30 percent of population and fluctuated for 25 years, from 1976 to 2001, and only after this fluctuation it started growing and in 2011 was almost 35 percent of total residents

Word Count: 205

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percent: 8

immigrants: 7

total: 5

started: 5

almost: 4

decreased: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by summarizing the main trends and making comparisons between the different groups. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, an overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data (e.g., Asia reaching 'almost 15 percent' and UK dropping to 'only 5 percent') and a few grammatical errors (e.g., 'did not increased', 'it can be clear'). To improve, ensure data figures are more precise and proofread for grammatical accuracy. The report could also benefit from more specific comparisons between the groups at key points in time.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction and separate paragraphs for different regions. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by unclear referencing (e.g., 'as other nations did') and awkward transitions. The paragraphing could be more logical, and the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some good attempts at paraphrasing (e.g., 'proportion of Australian individuals'). However, there are several inaccuracies and informal choices (e.g., 'did not increased', 'the main immigrant were people from Asia', 'reached it peak'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and some terms are used imprecisely. To improve, work on using more precise and formal vocabulary, and avoid basic errors in word form and collocation.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a number of grammatical errors that affect clarity, such as subject-verb agreement errors ('the main immigrant were'), incorrect verb forms ('did not increased'), and missing articles. Sentence structures are often simple or repetitive, and there are issues with punctuation. To improve, practice using a wider range of sentence structures (e.g., complex sentences with relative clauses) and review basic grammar rules, especially verb tenses and agreement.

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