Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows the percentage of people choosing different ways for different purposes in the UK in 2013.

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The image displays a bar chart comparing transport modes for different purposes. For Walking, the percentages are: Education 25%, Work 5%, Leisure 35%, and Shopping 25%. For Bus, the percentages are: Education 30%, Work 25%, Leisure 25%, and Shopping 20%. For Train, the percentages are: Education 5%, Work 25%, Leisure 10%, and Shopping 15%. For Car, the percentages are: Education 30%, Work 40%, Leisure 15%, and Shopping 30%. For Others, the percentages are: Education 10%, Work 5%, Leisure 15%, and Shopping 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of trips taken by walking, bus and car for four different purposes in the UK in 2013. Overall, shopping accounts for the highest percentage of car trip, while the proportion of journeys by bus for leisure reach the lowest point.

Turning to shopping, car accounted for the highest percentages at 73% of trips, this was followed by bus and walking with 13% and 14% respectively. Concerning leisure, 70% of people choose to travel by car for leisure. Following this, the percentages of trips by bus was approximately three times higher than that of trips made on foot, at 22% and 8% respectively.

According to work, the proportion of trips for work by bus was not as common as much by car, with 18% compared to 71%. Following this, the figure for journeys by walking ranked third, accounting for 11%. In contrast, with regard to education walking was the most popular used for means of transport, with 44%. Subsequently, 32% trips used car, compared to 24% bus journeys.

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

trips: 6

walking: 4

proportion: 3

journeys: 3

leisure: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends and comparing transport modes for different purposes. However, there are notable inaccuracies in the data (e.g., car percentages for shopping and work are overstated, and walking for education is understated). The report also omits the train and other categories, which are part of the chart. The structure is clear, but the data errors and omissions detract from the overall task achievement. To improve, ensure all categories are covered and data is accurately reported.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with clear paragraphing for each purpose. However, the flow could be improved by using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, the transition from the overview to the details could be smoother, and the use of 'Following this' and 'Subsequently' is somewhat repetitive. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with some good collocations like 'accounted for' and 'proportion of trips'. However, there is some repetition of words such as 'trips' and 'percentages'. To achieve a higher score, try to use synonyms and more varied expressions, such as 'mode of transport', 'share', or 'figure'. Also, ensure that terms like 'walking' and 'bus' are used consistently and accurately. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For example, 'the highest percentages at 73%' should be 'the highest percentage at 73%', and 'the percentages of trips by bus was' should be 'the percentage of trips by bus was'. Also, 'the most popular used for means of transport' is incorrect; it should be 'the most popular means of transport'. The sentence 'the proportion of trips for work by bus was not as common as much by car' is confusing and should be rephrased. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. Proofreading for these issues will enhance accuracy.

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