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Band 5+: The chart below shows the percentage of people in different age groups who went to cinema once a month or more in one European country from 2000 to 2011.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the percentage of people in different age groups who went to cinema once a month or more in one European country from 2000 to 2011.

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The image depicts a line graph with percentages from 0 to 60 on the y-axis and years from 2000 to 2011 on the x-axis, featuring four age categories (15-24, 7-14, 25-35, 35 and over). In 2000: 15-24 (14%), 7-14 (5%), 25-35 (5%), 35 and over (1%). In 2002: 15-24 (around 18%), 7-14 (7%), 25-35 (7%), 35 and over (1%). In 2004: 15-24 (20%), 7-14 (10%), 25-35 (9%), 35 and over (1%). In 2006: 15-24 (around 28%), 7-14 (11%), 25-35 (15%), 35 and over (2%). In 2008: 15-24 (30%), 7-14 (15%), 25-35 (20%), 35 and over (3%). In 2010: 15-24 (50%), 7-14 (22%), 25-35 (30%), 35 and over (5%). In 2011: 15-24 (around 52%), 7-14 (26%), 25-35 (25%), 35 and over (6%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates the proportion of people in various ages who went to cinema once a per month or more in European country between 2000 to 2011. Overall, the 15-24 age group was the considerable contributor to cinema’s revenue and the figure stayed leading at the end of the period. Additionally, the rest of the 7-14 and 25-35 age groups experienced noticeable growth, while people aged 35 and over increased slightly compared to the other ages.

Focusing on the first extreme ends, the share of people aged 15-24 who went to the cinema was 17% and the figure adhered to a rising trajectory to around 44% in 2006. After that, the figure fluctuated noticeably until 2008 and reached all-time high of approximately 51% in 2011. However, people aged 35 and over started with a low of roughly 1% and this figure stayed static by 2006 and recorded a slight growth around 8% in 2008 and reached a low of 12% by the end of the period.

Turning to the remaining ages, teenagers aged 7-14 visited the cinema was 10% of total, the proportions experienced a slight fluctuation until 2005 and went up to 30% visitors of total teenagers. The proportion of visitors aged 7-14 jumped 38% of total before decreasing to 30% in the final year. Lastly, individuals aged 25-35 went to cinema rarely in 2000 and grew gradually to 22% of total in 2007. Despite some decreases, the figure hit its peak with 32% and ended with 30%, which was similar to the 7-14 ages at the end of the period.

Word Count: 263

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

figure: 5

people: 4

cinema: 4

total: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overall trend, but it contains several inaccuracies and inconsistencies in the data. For example, the initial value for the 15-24 age group is stated as 17% instead of 14%, and the 2006 value is given as 44% instead of 28%. Similarly, the figures for the 35 and over group are inconsistent (e.g., 8% in 2008, 12% at the end, whereas the actual data shows 3% and 6%). The description of the 7-14 and 25-35 groups also includes incorrect percentages and trends. To improve, ensure that all data points are accurately reported and that the trends described match the visual information. Additionally, avoid vague phrases like 'considerable contributor' and 'extreme ends' for clarity. Focus on presenting key features with precise data and a clear comparison across all age groups.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references (e.g., 'the first extreme ends', 'the rest of the 7-14 and 25-35 age groups'). The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, making the progression of ideas less smooth. To improve, use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a coherent set of data points. Also, use a wider range of linking words and referencing to connect ideas more naturally.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary for describing trends (e.g., 'rising trajectory', 'fluctuated', 'slight growth', 'hit its peak'). However, there are instances of imprecise or awkward word choices (e.g., 'considerable contributor to cinema's revenue', 'adhered to a rising trajectory', 'visitors of total teenagers'). The range of vocabulary is adequate but not fully flexible or sophisticated. To improve, use more precise and natural collocations (e.g., 'the highest proportion', 'a steady increase', 'remained relatively stable') and avoid repetitive phrasing. Also, ensure that terms like 'percentage' and 'proportion' are used consistently and correctly.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and awkward structures that affect clarity. For example, 'once a per month' should be 'once a month or more', 'in European country' should be 'in a European country', and 'between 2000 to 2011' should be 'between 2000 and 2011'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and sentence construction (e.g., 'teenagers aged 7-14 visited the cinema was 10% of total'). The range of grammatical structures is limited, with many sentences following a similar pattern. To improve, focus on using a variety of complex structures (e.g., subordinate clauses, passive voice) and ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct. Proofreading for common errors such as articles, prepositions, and verb forms is essential.

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