Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart below shows the percentage of the total US population aged 65 and over between 1900 and 2000.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the percentage of the total US population aged 65 and over between 1900 and 2000.

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The image shows a bar chart with the percent of the total population age 65 and over between 1900 to 2000 in the USA with three age groups (65-74, 75-84, 85+). In 1900, 2.9% were 65-74, 0.4% were 75-84, and 0.2% were 85+. In 1910, 3% were 65-74, 0.4% were 75-84, and 0.2% were 85+. In 1920, 3.3% were 65-74, 0.8% were 75-84, and 0.2% were 85+. In 1930, 4.8% were 65-74, 1.3% were 75-84, and 0.3% were 85+. In 1940, 5.5% were 65-74, 1.7% were 75-84, and 0.4% were 85+. In 1950, 6.1% were 65-74, 2.2% were 75-84, and 0.5% were 85+. In 1960, 6.1% were 65-74, 2.6% were 75-84, and 0.7% were 85+. In 1970, 6.9% were 65-74, 3% were 75-84, and 1% were 85+. In 1980, 7.3% were 65-74, 3.4% were 75-84, and 1.2% were 85+. In 1990, 6.5% were 65-74, 4% were 75-84, and 1.5% were 85+. In 2000, 6.5% were 65-74, 4.4% were 75-84, and 1.5% were 85+.

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The graph shows the percentage of the US population aged over 65 from 1900 to 2000. It is obvious that the number of old people has increased over between 1900 and 1990. However, it’s decreased in 2000. It’s also clear the age of 65-74 has the highest percentage of three all the time.

First of all, it’s notabe that the total poplulatioin has grown in 1940. It’s been under 6 percent untill then; however,it’s gradually climbing year and year. Indeed, since war has ended aroud the period, people could get a better support from the government. It would encourage and improve our quality of life.

Secondly, the age of 75-84 peple has increased compared to under 74 years old. It used be on third of the yougest range of them; however, it became almost half of under 74 from 1970. A similar pattern can be observed in each rage of ages, therefore there will be more old people of the population.

Word Count: 161

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 3

under: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but includes some irrelevant and inaccurate information. The analysis is not always clear, and the structure could be improved. To improve, focus on providing a more accurate and detailed description of the data, and ensure that your observations are directly supported by the information in the graph. Also, avoid introducing external factors or speculations not directly related to the data presented.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. The introduction provides a general overview, but the subsequent paragraphs lack a clear focus and connection to the overall trend. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and paragraphing could be improved to enhance clarity. For instance, the connection between the end of the second paragraph and the start of the third paragraph is not clear. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on creating clear topic sentences for each paragraph and using transition words to link ideas effectively.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices. For example, 'number of old people has increased' could be rephrased for greater precision. There are also instances of imprecise language, such as 'three all the time'. To enhance lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to describing trends and data, and pay attention to using synonyms and paraphrasing to avoid repetition. Also, ensure that the vocabulary you use is appropriate for the context and accurately conveys your intended meaning. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('has increased over between'), subject-verb agreement issues ('the age of 65-74 has the highest percentage'), and punctuation errors. There are also instances of awkward phrasing and sentence structure that affect clarity. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, paying attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Proofread your work carefully to identify and correct errors, and consider using grammar resources to reinforce your understanding of English grammar.

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