Pie Chart

Band 6+: the chart below the pểcntageò volunteers by organizationd in 2008 and 2014

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The image displays two pie charts for the years 2008 and 2014, categorizing participation into six types. In 2008, the percentages were: Environmental 21%, Art 18%, Sport 15%, Health Care 7%, Educational 24%, and Others 15%. In 2014, the percentages were: Environmental 29%, Art 12%, Sport 25%, Health Care 8%, Educational 17%, and Others 9%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram illustrates below the charts of the demographic distribution of volunteers in different sectors such as environment, Art, Sport, Healthcare, and Education in different organisations in the years 2008 and 2014.

There are 2 charts representing the years 2008 and 2014. It can be inferred that there is an increase in the percentage of volunteers engaging in environment work compared to the overall number of volunteers from 2008 to 2014. Similarly, a significant percentage rise is observed in the percentage of volunteers in the sports sector in 2014 with respect to 2008, and only a slight increase in the healthcare sector.

To compensate for the increase in the above-mentioned sectors, we can observe a significant drop in sectors like education, art, and others from 2008 to 2014. There was an 8% drop in education from 24% to 17%, and a 6% drop in Art and others from 18% to 12% and 15% to 9% respectively in the time span of 6 years.

Word Count: 163

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

volunteers: 4

sectors: 3

education: 3

years: 3

increase: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by identifying and comparing the key trends between the two years. The overview successfully highlights the sectors that saw increases versus those that saw decreases. Data is used accurately to support the observations, and the comparison between the two time periods is clear. To improve, ensure the introduction is more concise and avoid slightly awkward phrasing such as 'illustrates below the charts'. Overall, the response is well-structured and covers all requirements.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to specific details. However, the progression could be smoother. The use of 'To compensate for...' is somewhat inappropriate in this context, as the decrease in one sector is not a deliberate action to balance another, but rather a statistical shift. Using more neutral cohesive devices like 'In contrast' or 'Conversely' would improve the flow. Additionally, the introduction is slightly repetitive and wordy.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for describing the trends, but there is some repetition (e.g., using 'percentage' multiple times in close proximity). The phrase 'the diagram illustrates below the charts' is awkward and redundant. To improve, try to use a wider variety of synonyms for 'increase' (e.g., upward trend, growth, climb) and 'decrease' (e.g., decline, reduction, dip). Ensure that capitalization is consistent, as 'Art' and 'Sport' are capitalized inconsistently throughout the text.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'the diagram illustrates below the charts' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'The pie charts illustrate...' The sentence structure in the overview is a bit heavy. Aim for more precision in your sentence construction to ensure that the relationship between the data points and the time periods is expressed clearly and naturally.

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