Pie Chart

Band 7+: The chart show the distribution of money spent on music in three different years in northern lreland

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The image shows pie charts depicting the distribution of money spent on music in Northern Ireland for the years 2005, 2008, and 2011. In 2005: CDs 61%, Concerts 31%, Digital downloads 6%, Other sources 2%. In 2008: CDs 43%, Concerts 23%, Digital downloads 32%, Other sources 2%. In 2011: CDs 26%, Concerts 28%, Digital downloads 43%, Other sources 3%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts compare different sources of music revenue, in terms of four categories from 2005 to 2011.

Overall, it is clear that people spent the largest proportion of their budget on just two categories, namely CD’s and concerts. Furthermore, the expenditure on onther sources maintained the same level throughout the three years.

In 2005, CD’s revenue accounted for 61% and in course of time the number decreased to 26%, by 2011. However, concerts’ turnover started at 31% in 2005, and dipped slightly during the three years, to nearly 28%, in 2011. At the same time, revenue from digital downloads began at 6%, which jumped significantly to appriximately 43% by 2011.

On the whole, the smallest proportion of spending was on other sources. Turnover from other sources were just under 3% over the period. Meanwhile, digital downloads reaching the highest revenue in 2011.

Word Count: 143

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sources: 4

revenue: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by summarizing the information presented in the pie charts. The overview is clear, and the main trends are identified. The report also includes relevant data to support the observations. To improve, consider providing more specific comparisons between the categories and years, and ensure that all data points are accurately represented. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overview and supporting details. However, some transitions could be smoother to enhance the flow between ideas. For example, in the third paragraph, the connection between the decrease in CD revenue and the changes in concert revenue could be more explicitly linked. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clear aspect of the data to maintain coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, such as 'accounted for,' 'dipped slightly,' and 'jumped significantly.' To further enhance the lexical resource, consider using more varied synonyms and idiomatic expressions related to financial trends and consumer behavior. For instance, instead of 'decreased,' you could use 'declined,' 'dwindled,' or 'contracted.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. However, there are a few errors that need attention. For example, 'expenditure on onther sources' should be 'expenditure on other sources,' and 'CD's revenue' should be 'CD revenue' or 'CDs' revenue.' Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and correct use of apostrophes to improve accuracy.

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