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Band 5+: The chart show the distribution of money spent on music in three different years in northern lreland

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The image shows pie charts depicting the distribution of money spent on music in Northern Ireland for the years 2005, 2008, and 2011. In 2005: CDs 61%, Concerts 31%, Digital downloads 6%, Other sources 2%. In 2008: CDs 43%, Concerts 23%, Digital downloads 32%, Other sources 2%. In 2011: CDs 26%, Concerts 28%, Digital downloads 43%, Other sources 3%.

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The pie charts given illustrate the amount of money spent on music in northern Ireland in three different years (2005, 2008 and 2011).

In general, people spent Ireland’s citizens expenditured in CD comprised for the highest percentages in 3 years from 2005 to 2008, while in 2011 Digital downloads took over the music field.

It is noticeable that other sources remained sustainable over a 6-year period. In the first year, the porprotion of budget spent on CD just over a three-five, at 61%. However, this number fell dramatically to just 26% in 2011. This figure for digital downloads show that during 2005 only a few 6% of total using money for dowload music on Internet. This number has changed by the year 2011, around 44% of the proportion of spending on digital downloads whilst the largest number in Ireland. On the other hand, Ireland’s inhabitants spent on Concerts from 31% to 28% between 2005 and 2011, while other sources remained unchanged for over 6 years at only 2%.

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

spent: 4

music: 3

years: 3

digital: 3

downloads: 3

other: 3

number: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overview of the main trends, but it contains some inaccuracies and awkward phrasing. For example, the statement about CDs being the highest in 2005 and 2008 is correct, but the phrase 'people spent Ireland's citizens expenditured in CD comprised for the highest percentages' is unclear and grammatically incorrect. Additionally, the data for digital downloads in 2011 is stated as 'around 44%' instead of the correct 43%, and the report omits the 2008 data for digital downloads and concerts. The report also mentions 'other sources remained unchanged' but does not note the slight increase to 3% in 2011. To improve, focus on clear, accurate descriptions of the data and ensure all key figures are included. Organize the information logically, perhaps by comparing categories across years, and use precise language to describe trends.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, but the flow is disrupted by unclear phrasing and grammatical errors. The overview is somewhat vague and could be more precise. Cohesive devices are used, but sometimes inaccurately (e.g., 'In general, people spent Ireland's citizens expenditured in CD comprised for the highest percentages in 3 years from 2005 to 2008, while in 2011 Digital downloads took over the music field.'). Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively managed to separate key trends. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and use a range of linking words accurately.

Lexical Resource

The report attempts to use a range of vocabulary (e.g., 'illustrate', 'dramatically', 'proportion', 'took over'), but there are several inaccuracies and awkward phrases (e.g., 'porprotion', 'dowload', 'expenditured', 'just over a three-five'). The word choice is sometimes imprecise (e.g., 'sustainable' instead of 'stable', 'using money' instead of 'spending'). To improve, focus on using precise and natural collocations (e.g., 'accounted for', 'remained stable', 'experienced a significant increase') and proofread for spelling errors.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that impede clarity. There are subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'This figure for digital downloads show'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'expenditured', 'comprised for'), and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'In the first year, the porprotion of budget spent on CD just over a three-five, at 61%.'). The range of grammatical structures is limited, and complex sentences are often mishandled. To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures accurately, ensure subject-verb agreement, and review basic grammar rules (e.g., articles, prepositions, verb tenses).

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Band 5+: The chart show the distribution of money spent on music in three different years in northern lreland

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The chart show the distribution of money spent on music in three different years in northern lreland

The chart show the distribution of money spent on music in three different years in northern lreland

The chart show the distribution of money spent on music in three different years in northern lreland

The chart show the distribution of money spent on music in three different years in northern lreland

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