Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart shows the participation by young people in sports by gender in Great Britain. Write a report for a university lecture describing the information shown below. you should write at least 150 words.

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The image shows 1999 participation data by young people in tennis (boys 25%, girls 23%), walking/hiking (boys 27%, girls 25%), rollerblading/skateboarding (boys 26%, girls 23%), swimming (boys 19%, girls 41%), cycling/riding a bike (boys 40%, girls 29%), and football (boys 65%, girls 20%) outside lessons, categorized by gender.

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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of boys and girl attendees of six distinct sports outside the academic lessons in the year 1999.

Overall, football accounted for the largest proportion of boys participation, whereas tennis made up the lowest figure. In addition, cycling peaked in overall popularity, while girls participation in swimming showed the highest reported concern in 1999. Regarding football, it accounted for the highest proportion at 67%, followed by cycling at 58%, while the figures for the rest of the nation ranged between approximately 10% to %.68%. In terms of girls cycling dominated with 49%, whereas football recorded the smallest proportion at 16% There was only a marginal difference of boys and girls walking, the highest figure at 21%.

Girls participation in tennis, on the other hand, was approximately 5% lower than boys. The attendees of girls on roller blading the highest, accounted for 24%, while attendees for boys was the lowest at almost 22%.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 4

highest: 4

attendees: 3

football: 3

accounted: 3

proportion: 3

participation: 3

cycling: 3

while: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but suffers from significant issues with data accuracy and clarity. There are several instances where the reported percentages do not align with the provided data, and some sentences contain incomplete information (e.g., '10% to %.68%'). Additionally, some comparisons are confusing or logically inconsistent, such as stating that swimming showed the 'highest reported concern' or describing rollerblading as the 'highest' for girls when other categories have higher values. To improve, ensure that every data point mentioned is accurate to the visual description and that the overview clearly summarizes the main trends without getting lost in contradictory figures. Focus on grouping data logically to make comparisons between genders more coherent.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical flow of information. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices (e.g., 'Overall', 'In addition', 'Regarding'), they are sometimes used incorrectly or do not effectively link ideas. The paragraphing is also inconsistent, and some sentences feel like isolated fragments rather than part of a cohesive argument. To improve, try to group data logically (e.g., by sport type or by gender trends) and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and occasionally inaccurate. For example, the phrase 'highest reported concern' is inappropriate in the context of sports participation, and 'attendees of girls' is an unnatural phrasing. There are also issues with word choice when describing data, such as using 'accounted for' in ways that do not quite fit the context. Aim to use a wider range of academic synonyms for 'show' (e.g., 'depict', 'represent') and 'participation' (e.g., 'involvement', 'engagement'), and ensure that collocations are natural.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, sentence structure (e.g., 'The attendees of girls on roller blading the highest...'), and punctuation (e.g., missing periods and misplaced percentage signs like '%.68%'). Some sentences are incomplete or run-on. To improve, focus on mastering complex sentence structures and ensure that every sentence has a clear subject and predicate. Careful proofreading for basic punctuation and symbol placement is also essential.

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Band 5+: The chart shows the participation by young people in sports by gender in Great Britain. Write a report for a university lecture describing the information shown below. you should write at least 150 words.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The chart shows the participation by young people in sports by gender in Great Britain. Write a report for a university lecture describing the information shown below. you should write at least 150 words.

The chart shows the participation by young people in sports by gender in Great Britain. Write a report for a university lecture describing the information shown below. you should write at least 150 words.

The chart shows the participation by young people in sports by gender in Great Britain. Write a report for a university lecture describing the information shown below. you should write at least 150 words.

The chart shows the participation by young people in sports by gender in Great Britain. Write a report for a university lecture describing the information shown below. you should write at least 150 words.

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Percentae of People who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables

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Coherence & Cohesion

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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