Bar Chart

Band 5+: The chart shows the participation by young people in sports by gender in Great Britain. Write a report for a university lecture describing the information shown below. you should write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The chart shows the participation by young people in sports by gender in Great Britain. Write a report for a university lecture describing the information shown below. you should write at least 150 words.

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The image shows 1999 participation data by young people in tennis (boys 25%, girls 23%), walking/hiking (boys 27%, girls 25%), rollerblading/skateboarding (boys 26%, girls 23%), swimming (boys 19%, girls 41%), cycling/riding a bike (boys 40%, girls 29%), and football (boys 65%, girls 20%) outside lessons, categorized by gender.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrates the average number of students in each sport type according to boys and girls’ selection.

Overall the figures show that girls selected more individual sports than boys, whereas boys selected more team sports like football.

In total, numbers were relatively similar for the sports except football. So, specifically girls are one third of the boys selected football. Also tennis as a team sport was chosen by around 25 boys as opposed to 19 girls. Almost 60 boys also chose cycling compared with 50 girls.

On the other hand, girls showed a greater interest in walking or hiking more than boys although there was not much difference between selected students. Skate boarding was also chosen by slightly more than 50 girls. Girls also selected swimming almost 10 more than boys.

Word Count: 132

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 6

selected: 5

sports: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains several inaccuracies and misinterpretations. It misrepresents data (e.g., 'average number of students' instead of percentages, 'one third' for football, 'around 25 boys' for tennis) and includes irrelevant or inappropriate comparisons (e.g., 'team sport' for tennis). The overall trends are partially identified, but key data points are inaccurate, detracting from task achievement. Focus on accurately describing the percentages and avoid introducing unsupported categories like 'individual' vs 'team' sports. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references (e.g., 'numbers were relatively similar for the sports except football'). The use of cohesive devices is basic and could be improved to make the progression of ideas smoother. Consider using more varied linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited and repetitive (e.g., 'selected' is used multiple times). There are some inaccuracies in word choice (e.g., 'average number of students' instead of 'percentage of young people'). To improve, use a wider range of synonyms and more precise terms related to data description (e.g., 'participation rates', 'proportion', 'gender differences'). Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and awkward structures (e.g., 'girls are one third of the boys selected football', 'skate boarding was also chosen by slightly more than 50 girls'). Punctuation is inconsistent. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and sentence structure. Practice writing complex sentences with accurate grammar.

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