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Band 7+: The chart shows the participation in social work by men and women of the country of Fancy from 1992 to 2000 Write a report of about 150 words describing their contribution

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The image shows participation in social work by men and women in thousands: in 1992, men at 5, women at 2; in 1994, men at 6, women at 3; in 1996, men at 6, women at 5; in 1998, men at 7, women at 7; in 2000, both men and women at 10.

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The given chart illustrates the number of men and women taking part in social work in the country of Fancy between 1992 and 2000.

In general, the participation of both genders witnessed a noticeable upward trend. Additionally, the number of male workers outweighed the women for most of the recorded years but then reached the same numbers in the last year of the period.

In 1992, the men’s figure began at 4000 people doing social work. The category then increased sharply to 6000 people in the next two years. The growth remained virtually unchanged until 1996, narrowing the gap with women participants. The workers numbers continued to increase significantly from 1998 to 2000, reaching a peak of 10000 people.

Regarding the women’s component, it accounted for one half of men’s engagement in 1992. The number followed a continuous increasing trend, climbing slightly to 3000 in 1994. The category experienced a notable rise in the next two years, reaching the equal number of participants with men. The number of women social workers leveled off and indicated 10000 people by the end of the period, gradually eradicated the gap with male gender.

Word Count: 190

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

number: 5

women: 4

social: 3

workers: 3

years: 3

people: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task, providing a clear overview and a detailed description of the trends for both genders. The structure is logical, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. To improve, ensure that data points are consistent; for instance, the report mentions men starting at 4000 in 1992, whereas the visual description suggests 5000. However, the overall progression and comparison of the data are well-handled. The use of varied vocabulary to describe trends (e.g., 'witnessed a noticeable upward trend', 'narrowing the gap') is a strength.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. However, some cohesive devices and transitions could be more sophisticated. For instance, the phrase 'gradually eradicated the gap' in the final sentence is slightly awkward in its connection to the preceding clause. Using more varied linking words to connect trends (e.g., 'consequently', 'simultaneously', or 'subsequently') would improve the flow.

Lexical Resource

You have used a good range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'witnessed a noticeable upward trend', 'narrowing the gap', and 'reached a peak'. However, there are some instances of imprecise word choices. For example, 'the women's component' and 'the male gender' are slightly unnatural in this context; 'the number of women' or 'male participants' would be more appropriate. Additionally, 'eradicated the gap' is a bit too strong/dramatic for a statistical report; 'closed the gap' is the standard collocation.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical inaccuracies that hinder the professional tone. For example, 'the workers numbers' should be 'the number of workers', and 'reaching the equal number of participants with men' is grammatically awkward (better: 'reaching the same number of participants as men'). There is also an issue with participle usage in 'gradually eradicated the gap', which should likely be 'gradually eradicating the gap' to function as a resultative clause. Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions.

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