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Band 5+: The charts below illustrate the market share of different smartphone brands in Russia and the amount imports that occurred in three consecutive years.

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The image displays a table and three pie charts: the table shows smartphone import quantities as 342 million in 2020, 670 million in 2021, and 430 million in 2022; the pie charts detail market share percentages by brand for each year. In 2020, the shares are iPhone 35%, Samsung 34%, Other 16%, One Plus 12%, and Google Pixel 3%. In 2021, iPhone at 40%, Samsung at 29%, Other at 21%, Google Pixel at 9%, and One Plus at 1%. In 2022, iPhone at 45%, Samsung at 23%, Other at 19%, One Plus at 10%, and Google Pixel at 3%.

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The pie chart shows the difference of store share between brands and the imports in Russia during three years

Overall,the most successful results are shown in 2021 since it has around 670 million amount of smartphones imported among 2020 and 2022 where quantity is between 342 and 430 million.There are demonstrated the procents of several technologies such as Samsung,iPhone,Google Pixel,One Plus and Other.

According to the diagrams,iPhone remained famous and convenient between 35% and 45% in all three years.The next smartphone that stayed the second after the iPhone is Samsung with 34% in 2020 was fallen until 19% in 2022 and its place took Google Pixel that had much better popularity from 2021 to 2022.One Plus and Other remained not highly requested during these years around 10% and 1% together,showing not the best recommendence to buy mobile phones.

In conclusion,iPhone increased about 10% from 2020 to 2022 while others have constant ups and downs in procents

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

between: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the overall trend in imports and the market share of smartphone brands. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, the report states that Samsung fell to 19% in 2022, but the data shows it was 23%. Also, it mentions that Google Pixel took Samsung's place, which is not accurate as Samsung remained second. The report could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends, accurately reporting all key data points, and ensuring that comparisons are made correctly. Additionally, the language could be more precise and formal, avoiding informal phrases like 'not highly requested' and 'recommendence.'

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but the flow is disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For example, the phrase 'its place took Google Pixel' is confusing, and the connection between the table and pie charts is not clearly explained. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Additionally, use cohesive devices such as 'in contrast', 'similarly', and 'as can be seen' to guide the reader smoothly through the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited, with some inappropriate word choices and awkward phrasing. For instance, 'store share' should be 'market share', 'procents' should be 'percentages', and 'recommendence' is not a word. To improve, use a wider range of precise vocabulary related to data description, such as 'accounted for', 'constituted', 'experienced a decline', and 'remained stable'. Also, avoid informal or incorrect terms and ensure that all terms are used accurately.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. Examples include missing articles ('the imports'), incorrect verb forms ('was fallen'), and subject-verb agreement problems. There are also run-on sentences and missing commas. To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures, such as complex sentences with subordinate clauses, and review basic grammar rules for tense consistency and article usage. Proofreading for punctuation and sentence boundaries is essential.

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Band 5+: The charts below illustrate the market share of different smartphone brands in Russia and the amount imports that occurred in three consecutive years.

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Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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The charts below illustrate the market share of different smartphone brands in Russia and the amount imports that occurred in three consecutive years.

The charts below illustrate the market share of different smartphone brands in Russia and the amount imports that occurred in three consecutive years.

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Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

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Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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