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Band 5+: comparison of the percentage of water used and theo total of income

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The image presents two pie charts for 2004; left pie chart: water usage breakdown: vegetables 46%, cereal 12%, lime 1%, fruits 8%, rice 28%, dandelion 5%; right pie chart: total income: vegetables 31%, cereal 9%, lime 8%, fruits 40%, rice 12%, dandelion 1%.

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The first pie chart shows the percentages of water used in 2004 for different products, while the second pie chart shows the percentages of incomes of these products.

Overall, vegetables were the most products consumed water, while fruits recorded the highest income.

Vegetables products consumed the highest proportion of water in 2004, accounting for 46 percent, followed by fruits at 28 percent, cereal at 12 percent, and lime at 8 percent. On the other hand rice and dandelion recorded the lowest proportions at 3 percent each.

The income pie chart illustrates different trend, with fruits incomes at the top, recording 40 percent, compared to the water use proportion that was 28 percent . In contrast, vegetables incomes was less then its water use protection, recording 31 percent. On the other hand, cereal and lime recorded the same proportions as their water use, accounting for 12 percent and 8 percent respectively. Similar to fruits trend, dandelion incomes was higher than it water use proportion, with 8 percent compared to only 3 percent water use, while rice incomes recorded the lowest incomes at 1 percent.

Word Count: 183

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percent: 13

water: 8

incomes: 6

fruits: 4

recorded: 4

chart: 3

products: 3

while: 3

proportion: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by comparing the two pie charts, but it contains several inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, the water usage percentages for rice and dandelion are incorrectly stated as 3% each (actual: rice 28%, dandelion 5%), and the income percentages for cereal and lime are incorrectly stated as equal to their water usage (actual: cereal 9%, lime 8%). Additionally, the report omits the income percentage for rice (12%) and misstates dandelion's income as 8% (actual: 1%). The overall structure is clear, with an introduction and an overview, but the data errors detract from the task achievement. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately reported and avoid making unsupported comparisons. Focus on presenting the key trends and comparisons clearly and accurately.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction and an overview, and it groups information logically. However, there are some lapses in cohesion and clarity. For example, the phrase 'vegetables were the most products consumed water' is awkward and disrupts flow. Also, the sentence 'The income pie chart illustrates different trend' lacks a clear link to the previous paragraph. To improve, use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly', 'whereas') more consistently and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. The paragraphing is acceptable but could be more skilfully managed by separating the description of each chart more distinctly.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary for describing charts (e.g., 'accounting for', 'recording', 'proportion'), but there are several inaccuracies and awkward phrases. For instance, 'most products consumed water' should be 'product that consumed the most water', and 'incomes was less then its water use protection' contains errors ('less then' should be 'less than', 'protection' should be 'proportion'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is repetition of 'recording' and 'accounting for'. To improve, use a wider variety of synonyms (e.g., 'constituting', 'representing', 'making up') and ensure word choices are precise and natural. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and accuracy. Examples include subject-verb agreement ('vegetables incomes was' should be 'vegetable income was'), incorrect comparative forms ('less then' should be 'less than'), and missing articles ('different trend' should be 'a different trend'). There are also punctuation issues, such as a space before a period. The range of sentence structures is limited, with many simple sentences. To improve, practice using a variety of complex structures (e.g., relative clauses, conditionals) and review common grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement and article usage. Proofreading for punctuation and word choice is also recommended.

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comparison of the percentage of water used and theo total of income

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Band 5+: comparison of the percentage of water used and theo total of income

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comparison of the percentage of water used and theo total of income

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