Pie Chart

Band 6+: The charts below show the class size of four states of Australia.

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The image displays four pie charts of Australian Capital Territory: 2% of classes have more than 30 students, 20% 26-30, 51% 21-25, 27% 20 students or fewer; Western Australia: 3% of classes have more than 30 students, 25% 26-30, 43% 21-25, 29% 20 students or fewer; New South Wales: 3% of classes have more than 30 students, 30% 26-30, 40% 21-25, 27% 20 students or fewer; South Australia: 3% of classes have more than 30 students, 23% 26-30, 44% 21-25, 30% 20 students or fewer.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts illustrate the number of students per class in across four states of Australia (Australian Capital Territory, Western Australia, New South Wales, and South Australia) where class sizes categorised into four groups: 20 students or fewer, 21 to 25 students, 26 to 30 students and more than 30 students.

Overall, the classrooms with more than 30 students were the least in proportion while the number of 21 to 25 students were the most prevalent.

In the Australian Capital Territory and Western Australia, classrooms with 21 to 25 students comprised the largest proportion, accounting for 51% and 43% of classes respectively. In contrast, the South Australia recorded as the lowest proportion just slightly above a fifth where the New South Wales was just a third.

From another perspective, the Australian Capital Territory had the smallest percentage with classrooms with more than 30 students at only 2% where another three states had the similar proportion which was 3%.

Word Count: 158

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 8

australia: 4

south: 4

proportion: 4

capital: 3

territory: 3

where: 3

classrooms: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task and provides a clear overview of the main trends. The data is presented logically, and the comparison between states is made. To improve, ensure more precise language when describing proportions (for example, 'a third' for 40% is slightly inaccurate, though acceptable in a general sense) and refine grammatical structures to avoid minor errors such as 'the South Australia recorded as the lowest proportion'. Additionally, providing a more comprehensive comparison of all categories across all states would strengthen the response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to specific details. However, the progression is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and imprecise linking. For instance, the transition 'From another perspective' is not the most appropriate way to introduce a comparison of the smallest category. To improve, focus on using more natural cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that flows logically into the next.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for describing the charts, such as 'comprised', 'prevalent', and 'proportion'. However, there are instances of repetitive phrasing and some imprecise word choices (e.g., 'the number of 21 to 25 students were the most prevalent' is slightly imprecise as it refers to the class size category, not the students themselves). Aim to use a wider variety of synonyms for 'proportion' and 'percentage', and ensure that nouns and adjectives are used with higher precision to describe trends and categories.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that impact the clarity of the report. Issues include preposition errors ('in across'), subject-verb agreement ('the number... were'), and sentence structure problems (e.g., 'the South Australia recorded as the lowest proportion... where the New South Wales was just a third'). These errors make some sentences difficult to parse. To improve, practice complex sentence structures and pay close attention to article usage (e.g., avoiding 'the' before state names like 'the South Australia') and the correct use of relative clauses.

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