Pie Chart

Band 4+: The charts below show the proportion of holidaymakers using four different types of accommodation in three different years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The charts below show the proportion of holidaymakers using four different types of accommodation in three different years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows three pie charts depicting data for the years 1988, 1998, and 2008. In 1988, "Staying with family" is 52%, "Rented apartment" is 26%, "Camping" is 15%, and "Hotels" is 7%. In 1998, "Staying with family" is 54%, "Rented apartment" is 22%, "Camping" is 13%, and "Hotels" are 11%. In 2008, "Staying with family" is 44%, "Rented apartment" is 22%, "Camping" is 22%, and "Hotels" are 12%.

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The chart illustrates the porportion of individuals in the period of time between 1988 and 2008 who decided to spend their holidays four different ways such as: staying with their relatives, renting residents, spending time in nature or booking hotels. In this essay i will compare their data.

In the year 1988 we can see that the half of the numbers choose to stay with their family, nearly half of this percent choose camping, and a little less percent of testers opt staying in hotels and an unknown number is presented in the section “rented apartment”. By the year 1998 the most amount of citizens opt to stay with family which is the highest rate of the share. in addition we can see that the quantity of variants for hotels has increased. In the year 2008 the graph stays stable and unchanged, however they are minimal changes happened to the proportions for the section “rented apartmenrt”.

The graph stays stable and they are no sky-rocket changes.

Word Count: 166

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 4

hotels: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear or accurate summary of the data. There are significant issues with data accuracy; for example, the report claims nearly half of people chose camping in 1988, whereas the data shows it was only 15%. Additionally, the report describes the 2008 data as 'stable and unchanged,' which contradicts the actual fluctuations in the figures. To improve, focus on accurately reporting the percentages provided and avoid using vague or incorrect descriptions. Ensure that you include a clear overview of the main trends and avoid personal statements like 'In this essay I will compare their data,' as this is not appropriate for a report.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear organizational structure. The introduction includes an inappropriate phrase ('In this essay i will compare their data'), which is more suited for a Task 2 essay than a Task 1 report. The progression of ideas is difficult to follow because the descriptions of the years are somewhat disjointed. To improve, use clear paragraphing to separate the introduction, the overview (main trends), and the specific details. Use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'Regarding...' to link your observations more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is often inaccurate or inappropriate for an academic report. For example, terms like 'testers,' 'citizens,' and 'variants' are used incorrectly in this context. Additionally, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'porportion', 'apartmenrt'). Try to use more precise academic synonyms for describing data, such as 'proportion,' 'percentage,' 'category,' or 'type of accommodation,' rather than referring to people as 'testers' or 'citizens'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are significant grammatical issues throughout the text. Errors in sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and word choice (e.g., 'the half of the numbers choose', 'they are minimal changes happened') impede communication. The use of 'sky-rocket' is too informal for an academic report. Focus on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring that your verb tenses are consistent with the time periods being described (past tense for 1988, 1998, and 2008).

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