Bar Chart

Band 5+: The charts show information about the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

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Image for topic: The charts show information about the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

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The image shows two bar charts comparing percentages of men and women in four countries for 1970 and 2000. In 1970: Belgium - Men 60%, Women 40%; USA - Men 70%, Women 50%; Japan - Men 60%, Women 50%; Indonesia - Men 90%, Women 50%. In 2000: Belgium - Men 60%, Women 50%; USA - Men 70%, Women 60%; Japan - Men 50%, Women 40%; Indonesia - Men 80%, Women 60%.

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The graphs illustrates the proportion of female and male who older people in age-group 60-64 were worked in Belgium, USA, Japan and Indonesia between 1970 and 2000

Overall, it is clear that during given the period, the percentage of men in all four countries more than women, with the number of both genders in USA peaked in 1970.

Looking at the charts more closely, one can see that the rate of men wokers in USA and Indonesia had the same number in 1970 around 85%, before falling to 78% and 72% at the end of the period, respectively. At the same time, Belgium and Japan had a remarkable drop to around 50% .

Regarding the labor of female, the highest proportion was women in USA accounting for 80%, but this figure of women fell aproximately doubled in 2000. Women worker in Japan and Indonesia experienced a steady decrease throughout the period. In Beigium, female emloyees fell significantly to around 10%.

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 4

female: 3

japan: 3

indonesia: 3

period: 3

around: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains some inaccuracies and generalizations. The data is not always accurately represented, and there are some issues with language and clarity. To improve, focus on providing more precise data references and ensure accurate comparisons. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and clarity of expression.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information could be improved. The introduction is present, but the overview could be more concise and focused on the main trends. The body paragraphs contain some relevant information, but the connections between sentences and ideas are not always clear. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the overall flow of the report. For example, transition words and phrases can help to guide the reader through the information.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies in word choice. For example, 'illustrates' is not the most appropriate word to describe the function of the graphs. Additionally, there are instances of imprecise language, such as 'the rate of men wokers' and 'labor of female.' To improve lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to describing trends, comparisons, and proportions. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms and avoid repetition. Pay attention to the correct usage of words in context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and accuracy. These include errors in verb tense ('were worked' instead of 'were working'), subject-verb agreement ('graphs illustrates'), and article usage ('the proportion of female and male'). There are also issues with sentence structure and word order, such as 'during given the period' and 'falling to 78% and 72% at the end of the period, respectively.' To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, article usage, and word order. Proofread your work carefully to identify and correct errors.

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