Process Diagram

Band 4+: The diagram below shows the process of making cheese. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the process of making cheese. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a flowchart for "cheese production" from raw milk to ripened cheese, involving steps such as pasteurization, standardization, rennet enzyme addition, fermentation, coagulation, cutting, stirring, curd draining, milling, salting, pressing, and ripening with 12-hour intervals.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The diagram illustrates the cheese production.

As can be seen, there are 12 steps, starting from the cow’s milk to the cheese. Therefore, these essay willl be discussing further about the information provided.

To begin with, the first process of cheese production is on pasture that contains cows. Following that, the cows will taken to the extraction process to extract milk from cows and taking raw milk to the collection. After that, the milk will be pasteurized to kill the bacteria.

The pasteurize milk will be deliverd to the milling method to cut and mill the curds. Then, it will be molding into the shapes along the processing line. After form it into shapes, it will be fromed the curds and whey. Moreover, adding and mixing the curds and whey with the cultures and enzymes. Next, pressing it to remove whey and shape the cheese. Drying of cheese on racks is the following step from pressing it. After waiting cheese for aging and maturation. As a result, it becomes an eatable cheese as it has been sell in the store.

Word Count: 180

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

cheese: 7

after: 3

curds: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the cheese production process, but it contains significant inaccuracies and omissions. The description of the steps is often unclear and doesn't accurately reflect the information in the diagram. To improve, focus on accurately representing each step in the process, using precise language, and ensuring a logical flow in your description. Also, avoid introducing information not present in the diagram.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The introduction is weak, and the description of the cheese-making process is disjointed and difficult to follow. Paragraphing is not effectively used to separate distinct stages of the process. Use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas and create a smoother narrative.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with limited use of specific terms related to cheese production. There are instances of inaccurate word choice ('deliverd,' 'form it into shapes,' 'fromed the curds'). Expand your vocabulary related to food processing and use more precise language to describe the different stages. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. There are also issues with spelling ('pasteurize,' 'eatable,' 'wiall'). Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction to enhance clarity and accuracy.

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