Process Diagram

Band 5+: The diagram below shows the process of making paper. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make relevant comparisons where appropriate.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the process of making paper. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make relevant comparisons where appropriate.

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The image features a process diagram titled "THE PROCESS OF PAPER MAKING", illustrating 10 numbered sequential steps connected by directional arrows: "1. Cutting Trees" showing pine trees and logs, pointing right to "2. Removing Bark" showing a stripped log and bark pieces, pointing right to "3. Chipping" showing a pile of wood chips, pointing right to "4. Pulping" showing a pulping vat, pointing down to "5. Cleaning" showing a cleaning vat, pointing left to "6. Paper Making" showing a paper-making machine, pointing left to "7. Drying" showing a drying machine with rollers and heat lines, pointing left to "8. Rolling" showing a paper roll, followed by "9. Cutting" showing a cutting machine, pointing right to "10. Packing" showing stacked and strapped packages of paper.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram outlines stages of making paper from trees.

Overall, this process consists of ten stages, beginning with the cutting trees and ending with the packing of final product. The process involves servral steps, including cutting trees, removing bark, chipping, pulping the water and cleaning it, paper of making then dying, rolling, cutting and packing.

In the initial stage, trees are cut in shape which is shown in the diagram. After cutting trees, removing bark from it is essential. Once bark is removed, chipping it into small pieces. Next, pulping the water out of tank and clean it properly.

In the next stage, paper making through machine is began. Paper making then, dry them totally. After completing drying, rolling the papers so that, it is much easier to maintain. Cutting the papers before packing them. The final stage is packing the papers into different bunches to sale it to shopkeepers, making it ready to be sold in markets, completing the production cycle.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

making: 5

cutting: 5

paper: 4

trees: 4

packing: 3

stage: 3

papers: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the overall process and listing the main stages. However, there are some inaccuracies and unclear expressions (e.g., 'pulping the water out of tank' and 'paper of making then dying') that may confuse the reader. The description of the steps is somewhat repetitive and lacks precise comparisons or detailed features. To improve, focus on accurately describing each stage in a clear, logical sequence, and consider adding relevant comparisons (e.g., noting the cyclical or linear nature of the process). Also, ensure correct spelling and grammar to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, but the flow is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'paper of making then dying' and 'paper making through machine is began'). The sequence of steps is generally followed, but the transitions between stages could be smoother. To improve, use a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'subsequently', 'following this', 'once this is completed') and ensure each sentence logically connects to the next. Also, consider using more precise paragraphing to group related stages.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary related to the process (e.g., 'cutting trees', 'removing bark', 'chipping', 'pulping', 'cleaning', 'drying', 'rolling', 'cutting', 'packing'), but there are several lexical errors and awkward choices (e.g., 'servral steps', 'pulping the water out of tank', 'paper of making', 'dying' instead of 'drying', 'bunches'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is repetition of basic terms. To improve, expand your vocabulary to include more precise and varied terms (e.g., 'debarking', 'pulping process', 'calendering', 'sheeting', 'bundling') and ensure correct word forms and collocations. Avoid informal or vague expressions like 'so that, it is much easier to maintain'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that significantly affect clarity. There are problems with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'paper making through machine is began'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'chipping it into small pieces' should be 'it is chipped'), missing articles (e.g., 'the cutting trees'), and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'In the initial stage, trees are cut in shape which is shown in the diagram'). Punctuation is often missing or misused, leading to run-on sentences. To improve, focus on using a variety of sentence structures accurately, including passive voice (which is common in process descriptions), and ensure correct use of articles, prepositions, and verb tenses. Proofread carefully to eliminate basic errors.

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