Process Diagram

Band 5+: The diagram below shows the stages in the recycling of aluminium drinks cans

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the stages in the recycling of aluminium drinks cans

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The image presents a sequential recycling process of aluminum drink cans, comprising 10 stages: starting from waste collection, followed by deposit, water addition, chemical erasure, processing, and crushing. Subsequently, the crushed material undergoes heating in a container, is shaped in a mould, subjected to weighing, rolled after six weeks, and finally forming new cans.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The presented flow chart provides information on the steps in the reproducing of aluminium drinks cans.

Overall, this process contains 11 parts, which starts from wasting the aluminium and ends by rolling and making new cans. The whole process lasts in 6 weeks, and it comes to the fabric twice for different processes.

The first 6 stages are: Wasting, Depositing, Watering, Crushing into one cube, Processing in the fabrics and Erasing with chemicals. The Wasting start with carrying the material to the fabrics, where it get depodited. After that deposited aluminium washes by water and it crushed into the cubes. It also erased with some chemicals, and the next stage is that they comes to the fabric again, where it processing. Finally, it crushed to the cubes.

The last 5 stages of the recycling are: Heating, Moulding, Weighting, Rolling and comes to the New cans. Firstly, the cubes heated with a huge oven,where it becomes liquid, and after they make forms for the bottles. Secondly, weight machine weighting the aluminium, and as the next step, they rolling it to the new cans.

Word Count: 182

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

aluminium: 4

wasting: 3

rolling: 3

comes: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are noticeable issues with organization, accuracy, and detail. The description of the stages is somewhat unclear and contains inaccuracies. To improve, focus on providing a more precise and detailed account of each stage in the recycling process, ensuring the information is accurate and well-organized. Also, pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat difficult to follow. The introduction provides a basic overview, but the subsequent paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions, making it challenging to understand the flow of the recycling process. The report would benefit from improved paragraphing and more explicit connections between the stages. For example, using transition words like 'subsequently,' 'then,' 'afterward,' and 'finally' would enhance the logical progression of the description.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is a reliance on simple words like 'wasting,' 'making,' and 'comes,' which limits the precision and sophistication of the description. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to recycling and manufacturing processes. For instance, instead of 'wasting,' consider using 'collecting' or 'discarding.' Instead of 'making new cans,' try 'manufacturing new cans' or 'producing new cans.' Using synonyms and more specific terms will enhance the clarity and impact of the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('it get depodited,' 'they comes'), subject-verb agreement issues ('aluminium washes'), and awkward phrasing ('crushing into one cube'). These errors significantly impact the clarity and accuracy of the description. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofreading carefully for errors in tense, agreement, and word choice is essential. Consider using a grammar checker to identify and correct mistakes, but always review the suggestions critically to ensure they are appropriate for the context.

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