Process Diagram

Band 7+: The diagram below shows the water supply in Australia at present and in the future

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the water supply in Australia at present and in the future

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The image depicts two diagrams, one representing the current water supply system and the other representing the future water supply system. In the current system, water flows from a dam/storage to a water treatment plant, then to households, shops, factories, and a city, with pure water, storm water, and waste water being discharged into a river. The future system is similar but includes additional lines for storm water and waste water management. Both diagrams use arrows to indicate the direction of water flow, with three types of arrows representing pure water, storm water, and waste water.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagrams illustrate changes that will be made in the future plan for supplying water in Australia compared to the present system.

Overall, water coming from the city will be no longer sent to the river. Instead, a few changes to water flow at water treatment plant will be done to prevent polluting the river any longer.

The distribution of water from the storage to many households, factories, shops, and city will be the same since the pure water will be directly supplied to them as before.

However, major chages with the purpose of obtaining additional pure water will be implemented. Firstly, the flow of both storm water from the city and waste water from the treatment plant to the river will be halted, preventing the water pollution. Furthermore, once the water is treated and recyled at the plant, it will be reused in the city. This will not only increase the water supply, but it will also hinder degrading the drinking water from the river.

Word Count: 166

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 13

river: 4

plant: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, identifying key features and changes between the present and future water supply systems in Australia. The description of the current system and the proposed changes is generally clear. However, there are some omissions, such as not fully detailing the initial flow from the dam/storage in both systems. To improve, ensure all significant aspects of the diagrams are addressed and described with more precision.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overview and logical progression of ideas. However, the connection between some sentences could be smoother. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow and clarity of the report. For example, in the third paragraph, you could add a transition to better link the idea of halting water flow to the purpose of obtaining additional pure water.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, appropriate for the task. However, there's room for improvement in using more precise and sophisticated language. For instance, instead of 'a few changes,' you could use 'several modifications' or 'specific adjustments.' Also, consider varying your word choice to avoid repetition, such as finding alternatives for 'water' where appropriate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a good command of grammar, with only minor errors. Pay closer attention to article usage (e.g., 'the river') and sentence structure to ensure clarity and accuracy. For example, in the second paragraph, consider rephrasing 'water coming from the city will be no longer sent to the river' for better grammatical flow. Also, ensure subject-verb agreement throughout the report.

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