Multiple Graphs

Band 4+: The first chart below gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children's sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period.

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Image for topic: The first chart below gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children's sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period.

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The image contains two charts about children's sports in Britain, with the first chart displaying the average monthly spend by parents on children's sports from 2008 to 2014, showing a steady increase from around 5 to 35 pounds. The second chart shows the participation of children in football, athletics, and swimming from 2008 to 2014, with football having the most participants (around 8.5 million) by 2014, followed by athletics (approximately 6 million) and swimming (around 2.5 million).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The first line graph provides the proportion of how much money spending by British families on their postgraduate ‘s sports from 2008 to 2014 . Other the line graph gives information about the proportion of postgraduate who participated namely football , athletics , swimming in Britain throughout the period.

Owerall , there first graph was a increase in the amount of money in sports and second graph was an increase in the number of children in football while a decrease was seen in athletics train . In addition , swimming train generally had the lowest figures throughout the period

The amount of money spending on children ‘s sports started by 20 pounds in 2008 after which is saw an increase to approximately 33 pounds in 2014 . On the second graph , the percentage of participant started up 7.5 million in football then an increase to above 10 million participant . The number of postgraduates participanting with a subsequent fluctuated to above 5 million in 2008 -2014 . By contrast the percantage of postgraduates sharply increased to 3 throughout the period .

Word Count: 182

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

graph: 5

increase: 4

money: 3

sports: 3

football: 3

throughout: 3

million: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains inaccuracies and some irrelevant information. The description of the data is not always precise, and there are issues with grammar and vocabulary. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the charts, using correct terminology, and ensuring grammatical accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information is disrupted by grammatical errors and imprecise language. Improve paragraphing by grouping related ideas together and using clear topic sentences. Use cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly. Ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one and contributes to the overall argument or description.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices. For example, 'postgraduate' is used incorrectly instead of 'children'. To improve, expand your vocabulary related to trends, comparisons, and data description. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms and avoid repetition. Pay attention to the specific context and choose words that accurately convey the intended meaning. Proofread carefully to correct any errors in word choice.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in article usage. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually incorporate more complex structures as your accuracy improves. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors. Consider seeking feedback from a language tutor or using grammar-checking tools to identify areas for improvement.

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