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Band 7+: The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one socail centre in melbourn, australia for the period 2000 to 2020

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The image displays the number of participants by activity for the years 2000, 2005, 2010, 2015, and 2020. Film club participants were 64, 62, 60, 64, and 66. Martial arts had 36, 32, 38, 34, and 36 participants. Amateur dramatics had 26, 28, 20, 14, and 6 participants. Table tennis participant numbers were 16, 20, 20, 34, and 54. Musical performances had 0, 0, 12, 16, and 18 participants for the respective years.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given chart illustrates how the number of people participating in 5 different activities at a social centre in Melbourne, Australia has changed from 2000 to 2020. Overall, film club has always been the most popular activity throughout the years. One noticeable factor is the rapid increase in the number of people playing table tennis, which objects to the decrease in the number of people involved in amateur dramatics.

During the period, film club and martial arts didn’t have many changes in their participant’s number, always recording between 60-70 and 30-40, respectively. In contrast, amateur dramatics and table tennis experienced a significant change after 2010. While the figure for table tennis soared, making it the second popular activity in 2020, the figure for amateur dramatics dropped, making it the least favorite activity in the same year.

Interestingly, the musical performances was never chosen until 2005. However, it attained popularity after 2005 and eventually exceeded the number for amateur dramatics.

Word Count: 159

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

number: 5

amateur: 4

people: 3

activity: 3

table: 3

tennis: 3

dramatics: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the key trends and changes in participant numbers across the different activities. The overview is clear, and the body paragraphs provide relevant details and comparisons. To further enhance the response, consider including specific data points to support your observations and ensure even greater precision.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overview and logical progression of ideas. The use of cohesive devices is adequate, but there's room for improvement in making the connections between sentences and paragraphs even smoother. For instance, in the second paragraph, elaborating on *why* table tennis became more popular while amateur dramatics declined could enhance the flow. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to guide the reader more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and generally accurate. However, there are opportunities to use more precise and varied language to describe the trends and changes. For example, instead of 'didn't have many changes,' you could use 'remained relatively stable' or 'exhibited minimal fluctuation.' Similarly, consider synonyms for 'popular' and 'significant change' to add more depth to your descriptions. Focus on incorporating more specific vocabulary related to trends and comparisons.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar, with only minor errors. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage. For example, in the sentence 'musical performances was never chosen,' the verb should be 'were.' While these errors do not significantly impede understanding, correcting them will enhance the overall quality of your writing. Also, ensure correct tense usage throughout the report.

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