Multiple Graphs

Band 7+: The graph below shows the average monthly use of health club in Miami and Florida by all full-time members in 2017. The pie charts show the age profile of male and female members of this health club. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The first image shows a bar graph of monthly membership with males (green) and females (blue), with males consistently outnumbering females throughout the year, peaking in May (males: 900, females: 700) and lowest in January (males: 800, females: 600). The pie charts show the age distribution of male and female memberships, with the majority being 21-45 years old (males: 55%, females: 50%), followed by 65+ (males: 25%, females: 31%) and others (males: 20%, females: 19%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph illustrates the average number of people who used gym services in Miami and Florida in 2013, while pie charts give us information about the age of those people, divided by their gender.

Overall, the highest number of people attending this health club was seen from June to September and months showing the least results for both genders were from January to March. From the pie charts can be seen that the vast majority of gym users were not older than 45.

According to the graph, the average use by females from January to May, as well as in December, was approximately 550. In June, this number rose significantly reaching about 710 and this figure was stable until some fluctuations in October and November. The male members showed nearly the same trend as females, but with higher number of people. At the beginning of the year, there was a steady increase until June where it was stable for 4 month and then had a slight decrease between October and December.

Regarding the pie charts, for both genders, approximately 53 per cent were middle aged people. However, women older than 65 have more tendency to go to health clubs than men, showing 32 and 25 per cent respectively.

Word Count: 208

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 5

number: 4

charts: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task, providing a general overview of the bar graph and pie charts. The key trends and figures are mentioned, and there's a clear attempt to compare and contrast the data. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, the peak attendance is stated as June to September, while the graph indicates May to August. Also, the report could benefit from more specific data points and a more precise comparison of the male and female age profiles. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and providing more detailed comparisons.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are mostly smooth, contributing to a coherent flow of information. However, there are instances where the connection between ideas could be strengthened to enhance the overall coherence. For example, in the second paragraph, explicitly linking the peak attendance months (June to September) to potential reasons (e.g., weather, seasonal fitness goals) could improve the flow. Similarly, in the third paragraph, clarifying the relationship between the trends of male and female members (e.g., 'While both genders followed a similar pattern...') would enhance cohesion. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to further improve the logical flow and readability of the report.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends and data. Terms like 'approximately,' 'significantly,' 'fluctuations,' and 'steady increase' are used effectively. However, there are opportunities to enhance the lexical resource by using more precise and varied vocabulary. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'number of people,' consider alternatives like 'attendance figures,' 'membership rates,' or 'user volume.' Additionally, explore synonyms for common words like 'stable' (e.g., 'consistent,' 'unchanging') to add sophistication to the language. While the vocabulary is generally accurate, ensure that the specific terms used align precisely with the data presented to avoid any ambiguity.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures used effectively. There are only a few grammatical errors, and they do not significantly impede understanding. However, attention to detail in grammar and sentence construction could further enhance the clarity and precision of the report. For example, in the second paragraph, the phrase 'months showing the least results' could be rephrased for better clarity (e.g., 'months with the lowest attendance'). Similarly, in the fourth paragraph, consider revising the sentence 'women older than 65 have more tendency to go to health clubs than men' for improved grammatical accuracy and naturalness (e.g., 'a higher percentage of women over 65 attended health clubs compared to men'). Proofreading carefully for minor errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage can further improve the grammatical accuracy of the report.

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