Line Graph

Band 6+: The graph below shows the number of people employed in sport in thousands in selected EU countries between 2011 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a line graph detailing employment in sport throughout 2011-2014 measured in thousands of people across six countries: Belgium, Czech Republic, Estonia, Bulgaria, Denmark, and Ireland. In 2011, Belgium recorded approximately 23,000, Czech Republic nearly 14,000, Estonia about 8,000, Bulgaria around 5,000, Denmark approximately 25,000, and Ireland about 16,000. By 2012, Belgium's figure rose slightly above 24,000, Czech Republic decreased to nearly 11,000, Estonia edged up to around 8,500, Bulgaria continued just over 5,000, Denmark dipped below 24,000, and Ireland increased marginally to about 17,000. In 2013, Belgium climbed over 25,000, Czech Republic steadied close to 12,000, Estonia surged to around 9,000, Bulgaria remained steady over 5,000, Denmark stalled at approximately 24,000, and Ireland marginally rose beyond 17,000. In 2014, Belgium peaked beyond 26,000, Czech Republic grew steadily to above 15,000, Estonia reached just above 10,000, Bulgaria maintained its plateau over 5,000, Denmark heightened to roughly 27,000, and Ireland continued its ascension nearing 19,000.

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The graph illustrates the propotion of people employed in sport sector in thousthands in European countries, such as Denmark, Czech Republic, Belgium, Estonia, Ireland, and Bulgaria from 2011 to 2014. Overall, employement figures were the highest in Czech Republic and Denmark whilst Bulgaria and Estonia being the lowest. Despite some fluctuations, Ireland and Belgium’s numbers remained stable by 2014.

In Czech Republic, the figure started around 24,000 in 2011, dipped slightly in 2012, but then increased gradualily to approximately 30,000 by 2014. In similar to Czech Republic, Denmark began around 26,000 in 2011, experienced a drop in numbers to 25,000 in 2013, then rose again by 2014 to almost reach 30,000.

Bulgium and Ireland followed a similar trend but at lower levels, fluctuating between 25,000 and 15,000. Despite the decrease in 2012 in Belgium around 19,000 and in 2012 in Ireland reaching around 16,000, both countries successed in stablizing their figures by 2014 with Belgium recording slightly higher number at 21,000 than Ireland. In contrast, Bulgaria and Estonia recorded fewer employees in sport at 5,500 and 10,000. Although their numbers increased slightly by 2014, both countries remained the lowest in the graph throughout the given period.

Word Count: 196

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

ireland: 5

czech: 4

republic: 4

around: 4

countries: 3

denmark: 3

belgium: 3

estonia: 3

bulgaria: 3

numbers: 3

slightly: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains some inaccuracies and omissions. The data reported for Czech Republic and Denmark is significantly overstated. The report also contains some issues with grammar and vocabulary. To improve, ensure accurate data representation and focus on using more precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but there are some issues with the flow and connection of ideas. The overview is present but could be more effective in summarizing the main trends. The body paragraphs attempt to group countries with similar trends, but the transitions and connections between these trends could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing Czech Republic and Denmark to Belgium and Ireland feels somewhat abrupt. Also, the use of cohesive devices like 'In similar to Czech Republic' is not entirely accurate. To improve, focus on creating clearer transitions between paragraphs and ensuring that each sentence logically follows from the previous one. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of the report.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and instances where more precise language could be used. For example, 'propotion' should be 'proportion', and 'thousthands' should be 'thousands'. The phrase 'successed in stablizing' is not idiomatic; 'succeeded in stabilizing' would be more appropriate. To improve, focus on using more precise vocabulary related to describing trends (e.g., 'increased steadily', 'fluctuated significantly') and proofread carefully to avoid spelling errors. Also, try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'In Czech Republic, the figure started around 24,000 in 2011' is awkward; it could be rephrased as 'In the Czech Republic, the figure began at around 14,000 in 2011'. Similarly, 'Bulgium' should be 'Belgium'. The sentence 'Despite the decrease in 2012 in Belgium around 19,000 and in 2012 in Ireland reaching around 16,000, both countries successed in stablizing their figures by 2014' is grammatically complex but contains errors and could be simplified for clarity. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement, correct use of prepositions, and accurate spelling. Practice constructing more complex sentences while ensuring they are grammatically sound.

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