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Band 6+: The graph below shows the percentage of 18-25 years olds in universities in four different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feartures and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows the percentage of 18-25 years olds in universities in four different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feartures and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image depicts a line graph detailing percentage of 18-25 year olds in universities across four countries from 1961 to 2011; Singapore starts at 10% in 1961, rising to peak at 40% by 2011; Malaysia begins at 2% in 1961, reaching 30% by 2011; Philippines starts at 7% in 1961, slightly increasing to 25% by 2011; Thailand begins at under 1% in 1961, growing steadily to 20% by 2011.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line chart illustrates the proportion of between the ages of 18 and 25 year olds students in universities in four countries from 1962 to 2011.

Overall, it is apparent that the proportion of Malaysia and Philippines students followed broadly similar upward trend throughout the period shown in the chart. Meanwhile, Thailand recorded the highest percentages of students in universities in the last decades.

At the beginning of the period, the proportion of 18-25 years old in universities in Thailand stood at approximately 24%, considerably higher than the figures for in Singapore, at around 15%. The Thailand students studying in universities declined modestly, reaching at 19% in 1971. Thereafter, there was a dramatic increase and their percentage almost doubled by the end of the period. Meanwhile, the students of Singapore experienced several fluctuations until 2001 and reached a peak of about 40% in 2011.

Regarding to the Philippines, the proportion of universities students accounted for about 7% in 1981. Subsequently, this figure relatively constant at around 8% in 1971 before increasing rapidly to just below 15% in 2011. A small minority (2%) of Malaysian students went the universities in the initial year. This percentage grew significantly and reached 15% by 1991. Then, the figure remained stable at approximately 15% students between 1991 and 2011.

Word Count: 214

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 8

universities: 6

proportion: 4

period: 3

thailand: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the general trends and making some comparisons, but it contains several inaccuracies and omissions. The overall trend is identified, but the specific data points are often incorrect (e.g., Thailand's starting value, Singapore's starting value, and the final values for Malaysia and the Philippines). The report also omits key features, such as the steady growth of Singapore and the final values for all countries. To improve, ensure that the data is accurately reported and that the main trends and comparisons are clearly highlighted. Additionally, avoid vague statements like 'several fluctuations' and provide more precise descriptions of the changes.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, but the organization of information could be improved. The overview is somewhat vague and does not accurately summarize the main trends. The body paragraphs present data in a somewhat disjointed manner, and the progression of ideas is not always logical. For example, the paragraph on Thailand and Singapore mixes different time periods and lacks clear linking. Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic. Aim for a more logical flow, perhaps by grouping countries with similar trends or presenting data in chronological order.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary for describing trends (e.g., 'illustrates', 'upward trend', 'declined modestly', 'dramatic increase', 'remained stable'), but there are instances of awkward phrasing and repetition. For example, 'the proportion of between the ages of 18 and 25 year olds students' is redundant and unnatural. Also, 'Regarding to' is incorrect (should be 'Regarding' or 'With regard to'). To improve, use a wider range of precise vocabulary and ensure collocations are natural. Avoid repetition by using synonyms and paraphrasing. For instance, instead of repeatedly saying 'students', use 'young adults', 'university attendees', or 'enrolment figures'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, 'the proportion of between the ages of 18 and 25 year olds students' is grammatically incorrect. Also, 'reaching at 19%' should be 'reaching 19%', and 'this figure relatively constant' is missing a verb (should be 'remained relatively constant'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. To improve, proofread carefully to eliminate basic errors, and practice using a wider range of complex structures with accuracy. Ensure that each sentence is grammatically complete and correctly punctuated.

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Band 6+: The graph below shows the percentage of 18-25 years olds in universities in four different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feartures and make comparisons where relevant.

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