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Band 5+: The graph shows sales of songs from three musical genres during a period of ten years.

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The image is a line graph titled 'Music sales on Spotify' with a Y-axis in '1,000,000s' from 0 to 500 and an X-axis from 2009 to 2019, showing data for three genres. For Jazz, the sales values are approx. 80 (2009), 85 (2010), 90 (2011), 95 (2012), 95 (2013), 100 (2014), 105 (2015), 115 (2016), 125 (2017), 130 (2018), and 130 (2019). For Pop, the sales values are approx. 250 (2009), 240 (2010), 220 (2011), 205 (2012), 180 (2013), 160 (2014), 140 (2015), 130 (2016), 125 (2017), 125 (2018), and 125 (2019). For Korean Pop, the sales values are approx. 150 (2009), 160 (2010), 180 (2011), 210 (2012), 230 (2013), 250 (2014), 320 (2015), 380 (2016), 420 (2017), 460 (2018), and 500 (2019).

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The graph shows music sales on Spotify from three musical genres during a period of ten years. There are Jazz, Pop, and Korean Pop. Jazz and Korean Pop have positive trend of music sales from 2009 until 2019. However, Korean Pop have more significantly increased trend of sales rather than Jazz. The average of sales of Korean Pop nearly amounted 300 million on Spotify, while average of sales of Jazz only about 75 million in a decade. In 2019, Korean Pop and Jazz have a top sales, it was amounted five hundred sales of song for Korean Pop and 120 sales of song for Jazz.

In opposite, Pop genre have a negative trends of music sales from 2009 untill 2019. The number of music sales of Pop genre decreased every year. In 2019, Pop genre have the worst music sales on Spotify. It was amounted nearly 120 sales of song.

It was concluded that Korean Pop was the famoust genre on Spotify in 2019.

Word Count: 164

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 12

korean: 7

music: 5

spotify: 4

genre: 4

amounted: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies the main trends in the graph, such as the increase in Jazz and Korean Pop sales and the decrease in Pop sales. However, the report includes some inaccuracies and lacks specific data to support the claims. To improve, include more specific data points and avoid generalizations. Also, ensure that the data cited is accurate.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, affecting the overall coherence. For instance, the shift from discussing Jazz and Korean Pop to their averages could be smoother. Consider using transitional phrases to link ideas more effectively. The conclusion is rather abrupt and could be more strongly tied to the preceding analysis.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the task, such as 'positive trend,' 'significantly increased,' and 'negative trends.' However, there are instances where the word choice could be more precise (e.g., 'famoust'). To enhance lexical resource, try incorporating synonyms and more varied phrasing to describe trends and quantities. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'amounted,' consider alternatives like 'reached,' 'totaled,' or 'stood at.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that impact clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tense ('have positive trend' should be 'had a positive trend' or 'showed a positive trend'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'Korean Pop have more significantly increased trend of sales rather than Jazz' is grammatically incorrect and could be rephrased for better clarity. Focus on proofreading carefully for these types of errors and practicing sentence construction to improve grammatical accuracy.

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