Bar Chart

Band 6+: The line graph below shows the average Obesity: Percentage of Population. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The line graph below shows the average Obesity: Percentage of Population. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows a bar chart titled 'Obesity: Percentage of Population', with the y-axis representing '% of obese people' from 0 to 40. Data for Men (M) and Women (W) as percentages are approximately: France M:9, W:8; Netherlands M:9, W:8.5; Russia M:10, W:27; Finland M:15, W:12; Canada M:15, W:15; UK M:16, W:17; Germany M:17, W:19; Australia M:17, W:18; USA - White M:20, W:23; USA - Black M:21, W:37; Czech Republic M:23, W:25; and USA - Mexican M:23, W:33.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The bar graph reveals information on the percentage of population obesity. Each unit is measured in percentage.

From an overall perspective, it can be seen that the percentage of women was the highest point almost country except France, Netherlands, Finland, Canada and Australia.

The percentage of women in USA-Black is leading, making up just over 35%, followed by USA-Mexican and Russia, with under 35 % and 27%, respectively, Czech Republic and USA-White were next, accounting for 25% and 23%, in turn.

Interestingly the percentage of obesity population the lowest were France, Netherlands and Finland. Although Finland figure was 5% higher than France, with 12%, it only made up just over one-third of the women in USA-Black. The percentage of obesity-population Canada,UK, Germany and Australia the middle positions.

Another striking feature is that the percentage of men Czech Republic and USA-Mexican was the highest, with 23%. The lowest percentage of men were France and Netherlands, consisting of under 10%.

Word Count: 158

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 7

france: 4

women: 3

netherlands: 3

finland: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task, presenting the main features of the bar graph and making some comparisons. However, there are some areas for improvement. The organization is generally clear, but could benefit from a more structured approach, perhaps grouping countries with similar trends together. While the report identifies key data points, it could benefit from more specific data references to support the observations. The language is mostly accurate, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that could be improved. To enhance the report, focus on improving the structure, providing more specific data references, and refining the language for clarity and accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow is somewhat disrupted by abrupt transitions and a lack of clear connections between ideas. Paragraphing could be improved to group related information more effectively. For instance, the discussion of countries with the lowest obesity rates could be consolidated into a single paragraph. To enhance coherence, use cohesive devices (e.g., 'similarly,' 'in contrast,' 'furthermore') to link sentences and paragraphs, making the relationships between different data points clearer.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance clarity. For example, instead of 'making up just over 35%,' consider using 'constituting approximately 37%'. To improve lexical resource, try to incorporate synonyms and more specific terms related to data analysis and comparison. Also, ensure that vocabulary is used accurately and appropriately throughout the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. Common errors include incorrect verb tense ('was the highest point almost country'), missing articles ('the percentage of women in USA-Black is leading'), and awkward phrasing ('obesity population the lowest were'). To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread the report for errors in subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. Focus on using a variety of sentence structures to enhance grammatical range, but ensure that each sentence is grammatically correct.

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Band 6+: The line graph below shows the average Obesity: Percentage of Population. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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The line graph below shows the average Obesity: Percentage of Population. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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