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Band 5+: The line graph shows average motnhly temperatures in three cities in 2024

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Image for topic: The line graph shows average motnhly temperatures in three cities in 2024

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The image shows average monthly temperatures for 2024 in three cities: London, New York, and Sydney. London: Jan 5°C, Feb 6°C, Mar 9°C, Apr 11°C, May 14°C, Jun 17°C, Jul 18°C, Aug 18°C, Sep 15°C, Oct 12°C, Nov 8°C, Dec 5°C. New York: Jan 0°C, Feb 2°C, Mar 5°C, Apr 12°C, May 18°C, Jun 23°C, Jul 25°C, Aug 24°C, Sep 20°C, Oct 14°C, Nov 9°C, Dec 4°C. Sydney: Jan 23°C, Feb 23°C, Mar 22°C, Apr 19°C, May 16°C, Jun 13°C, Jul 12°C, Aug 14°C, Sep 16°C, Oct 18°C, Nov 20°C, Dec 22°C.

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The line graph illustrates the overall of temperatures in London, New York, Sydney by the year of 2024.

Overall, the temperatures in New York and London increase sharply, however, those cities become plunge slightly on the degrees over the year. Besides that Sydney shows that the temperatures decreased slightly, but not took a long time, the temperatures in Sydney became rose gradually in the end of 2024.

In the first month of January, New york was peaked started from 0 Celsius grows approximately to 25 Celsius in July. In the same case London also increased from around 5 Celsius slightly rose to around 20 Celsius in July. Meanwhile, in Sydney the temperatures stood at nearly 20 Celsius goes fell to around 10 Celsius in July.

In August, New York became declined dramatically to approximately 3 Celsius over the year, similarly the same problem has showed in London, which, fell sharply to 5 Celsius. Meanwhile in contrast situation Sydney demonstrated the data of the temperatures rise slightly over the year to around 10 Celsius to nearly 25 Celsius in the end of the year, respectively.

Word Count: 184

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

celsius: 10

temperatures: 6

sydney: 5

london: 4

slightly: 4

around: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends in the three cities, but it contains some inaccuracies and unclear phrasing. For example, the description of New York and London temperatures in the second half of the year is imprecise, and the statement about Sydney's temperature in July is not accurate. The overall structure is present, but the language could be more precise and the data more clearly presented. To improve, focus on accurately reporting the data and using clearer, more concise language to describe trends.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction and an overview, but the flow of ideas is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. The overview is somewhat confusing and does not accurately summarize the main trends. The body paragraphs attempt to group information, but the progression is not always logical, and the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that sentences are linked smoothly. Use a range of linking words and referencing to guide the reader, and make sure the overview clearly presents the main trends without unnecessary detail.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'increase sharply', 'declined dramatically', 'rose gradually'), but there are several inaccuracies and awkward word choices (e.g., 'the overall of temperatures', 'those cities become plunge slightly', 'in contrast situation'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and some expressions are not used naturally. To improve, expand your range of synonyms for describing changes (e.g., 'peak', 'reach a low', 'fluctuate', 'remain stable') and ensure that words are used in the correct context. Avoid direct translation from your first language and aim for more precise and natural phrasing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. There are problems with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the temperatures in New York and London increase sharply, however, those cities become plunge slightly'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'goes fell', 'became declined'), and missing or incorrect articles. Sentence structures are often repetitive and lack variety. To improve, focus on using a wider range of sentence structures, including complex sentences, and ensure that verb tenses are used consistently and correctly. Proofread your work to eliminate basic errors and improve punctuation, as these issues currently hinder the reader's understanding.

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