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Band 5+: The maps show the change of Pentland from 1980 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The maps show the change of Pentland from 1980 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image illustrates Pentland in 1980 with a car park, industrial area, grassland, roads, and sea, compared to 2007 featuring a yacht marina, park, swimming pool, multi-storey car park, apartments, many shops, houses, a cinema, and roads.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The map illustrates the biggest change in Petland between 1980 to 2007

Overall, it is noticable that, in 1980 from Petland have little areas such as sea, industreal area, and car parking and in 2007 sea changed to yacht marina and added small park behind the yacht, and also car parking demolished to shops and apartments.

Turning to the details in 1980, Petland was big and includes much areas such as, big sea, long 4 way road, and there was a grassland below the road, and there was a car park along the road on the right and on the left side was a industreal area.

In 1980 to 2007, there were a lot of changes such as, the yacht marnia was built to replace the sea with a small car parking, and on the right side new three apartments and many shops have been built, industreal area removed and bulit a new swiming pool, however, the car parking space has been moved to the legt side, apartments were built instead of grassland, by the way, cinema was also built.

Word Count: 180

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

parking: 4

built: 4

petland: 3

industreal: 3

yacht: 3

there: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key changes between the two maps but lacks a clear overview and sufficient detail. The organization is somewhat disjointed, and the language contains errors that affect clarity. To improve, focus on providing a more structured overview, elaborating on the specific changes with more precise details, and ensuring grammatical accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some attempt at organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. The introduction and overview are present but could be more concise and focused. The body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, making it difficult to follow the main points. Transitions between sentences and ideas are weak, leading to a somewhat disjointed flow. Consider using more effective linking words and phrases to improve coherence. Paragraphing could be improved by grouping related ideas together more logically.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and somewhat repetitive. There is limited use of more sophisticated or precise language to describe the changes. The report relies on simple words and phrases, which restricts the depth of the description. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to urban development and land use. Focus on using more specific and descriptive words to convey the details of the changes more effectively.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in article usage. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. Punctuation errors are also present. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay attention to using correct verb tenses to accurately describe changes over time. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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