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Letter

Band 6+: The news company is going to start a new program on TV about a particular place. Write a letter to offer your suggestions on what the program should be like. In your letter, you should tell: how you know about that place what suggestions you would like to ma why you are offering these suggestions.ke

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to express my suggestions regarding the place that your company desire to make a new program about.

As I am a history students, and I have conducted various research on this place, which deepened my understanding about it.

I would suggest that it is better to focus on the background of this place, since it not only can provides a unique opportunity to viewers to enhance their historical knowledge but also makes your program more fascinating. Moreover, collecting data from local people, particularly old generations can be more helpful to obtining deatailed information about the place.

When I wanted to research concerning the place, my professor adviced me to carry out such suggestions, which I found them truly worthwhile and helped me collect accurate data.

Thank you for considering my suggestions and your time. If you need any furthere information, please feel free to reach out to me via email or phone.

Yours faithfully,

Mohammadreza Hadavi

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

6.5
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
place: 4
suggestions: 3
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

7
The letter adequately addresses the task by offering suggestions for a TV program about a particular place. The writer explains their knowledge of the place, provides suggestions, and justifies them. However, the letter could benefit from more specific and detailed suggestions to enhance its impact. For example, instead of just saying 'focus on the background,' the writer could suggest specific historical events or aspects to highlight. Also, the language could be more precise and natural in places.

Coherence & Cohesion

6
The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved. Consider dedicating a paragraph to each of the points mentioned in the task instructions (how you know the place, suggestions, and reasons for suggestions) to enhance clarity. Transition words could also be used more effectively to link ideas within paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

7
The vocabulary used is adequate and relevant to the topic. However, there's room to incorporate more sophisticated and varied vocabulary to elevate the writing. For example, instead of 'makes your program more fascinating,' consider using a more nuanced phrase like 'enhances the program's appeal' or 'adds to the program's intrigue.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5
The letter contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'As I am a history students' should be 'As I am a history student.' Also, 'obtining deatailed information' should be 'obtaining detailed information'. Proofreading carefully for such errors is crucial. While a range of structures is attempted, accuracy needs improvement.

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