Bar Chart

Band 5+: The percentage of young people at a university in 2000 and 2007

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The image presents a chart displaying the percentage of young people at university in six countries for the years 2000 and 2007. Italy shows 38% in 2000 and 52% in 2007. Spain has 41% in 2000 and 46% in 2007. The UK records 54% for both years. Poland stands at 65% in 2000 and 78% in 2007. Norway indicates 66% in 2000 and 65% in 2007. Finland registers 70% for both years.

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The give bar chart illustrates us proportion of university’s youngsters in european countries ( Italy,Spain,UK,Poland,Norway, and Finland) In two different years: 2000 and 2007

Overall, it can be seen that there was an upward trend in Italy, UK, and Poland meanwhile, in Spain and Norway percentage decreased significantly. However, Finland was the only one to be remained unchanged.

In 2000, Italy’s 38% of youth were studying at universities and by the end of 2007, it rose by 14 percentage points and reached 52% overall.Likewise, In Poland the proportion increased from 64% to 78%. In 2000 and 2007, respectively. UK witnessed an increase as well, in 2000 it was 46% and it gained 8 percentage points and by the end of 2007 it was 54%.

Spain on the other hand, encountered a decrease and it fell by 5 percentage points. From 46% in 2000 to 41% in 2007. Similarly, Norway witnessed a downfall as well, but it was rather insignificant and it fell to 65% from 66% in two different periods. However Finland did not face any alterations in proportion and remained still at 70%

Word Count: 184

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 4

proportion: 3

points: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the task requirements, presenting the main trends and key data points from the bar chart. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., UK's percentages) and some minor organizational issues. To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and consider a more structured approach to comparing and contrasting the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally coherent, but there are some issues with the flow of information and paragraphing. The overview is adequate, but could be more concise and focused. The body paragraphs present the data, but the transitions between them could be smoother. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the connection between sentences and paragraphs. For example, you could use phrases like 'In contrast' or 'Similarly' to link ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings. For example, 'university's youngsters' is not the most natural way to express 'young people at university'. Try to use more precise and natural vocabulary related to describing trends and data. For instance, instead of 'percentage decreased significantly', you could say 'percentage declined noticeably'. Also, avoid unnecessary repetition of words like 'percentage' and 'proportion' by using synonyms or rephrasing sentences. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Some examples include incorrect verb forms ('The give bar chart illustrates us'), incorrect use of articles ('in european countries'), and subject-verb agreement issues ('UK witnessed an increase as well, in 2000 it was 46% and it gained 8 percentage points and by the end of 2007 it was 54%.'). Pay closer attention to these areas and proofread carefully to minimize errors. Also, vary your sentence structure to improve the overall flow and readability of the report.

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